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If they’re truly black ops, they wouldn’t even tell their family that they do the crazy secret stuff. Their family would be told that they’re stationed somewhere like Japan, but then their return mail would be coming with weird mismatched postage marks from all over the world. And they wouldn’t be bragging about the job, they would be downplaying it. Lots of “Oh I mostly push papers for logistics coordination. I can’t give specifics but it’s really not that interesting.”
Like you would send a letter to them, addressed to the base in Japan that you’ve been told they’re stationed at. The military would then re-route it to wherever they are actually stationed (like the UK). But then their return mail would initially get marked from the UK, until it got intercepted and re-stamped to look like it was from Japan. Thus the weird postmarks.
Source: Uncle was suspected black ops during the height of the Cold War, and this was how his shit worked. Granddad was retired military by that point; high enough in rank to know how black ops worked, without being strictly bound to secrecy about all the work he did. Which meant he saw all of the red flags about my uncle’s weird deployments, and quickly put two and two together. He lost a lot of sleep over it, knowing that a few dudes might show up to tell him his son had been killed somewhere they couldn’t disclose, on a mission that didn’t technically exist. Or worse, that he wasn’t dead, but the military wasn’t going to do anything to rescue him. Because that would mean admitting that his mission existed in the first place.
So he never told his family about the Cold War pedos he protected?