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Discussion Thread 🪿 Wednesday 16 September 2026
(aussie.zone)
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this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2026
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Thank you all for the advice and kind words yesterday.
Ended up calling them last night. I don't think I'm going to 'get my way' here with an assessment.
Speaking to her, she's refusing to eat the soup I did for her because I'm pushing for this assessment. She tried to make her own but the way she does it isn't balanced. Might have been spite, or she's trying to prove she doesn't need to get checked out or both.
Their 8 days away without proper nutrition has done a number on her mind (again).
So going to have to capitulate and just accept it isn't going to happen.
Sort of had a feeling this might backfire. Still think it's the correct thing to do though but I'm backing off.
No point feeling bad about it, was worth a go. Heading back to melbs tm to try and pick up the pieces.
One thing that happened close to the end with my mother was more than a bit unsettling - she got very afraid of being considered 'mad' and of being 'locked up in an asylum'. Which is actually a fair description of an aged care home, but her mental picture of such places was very very out of date and she was very very hostile. Think of all the horror stories of Victorian era 'madhouses'. Like Bedlam etc. Faced with that prospect, she got very very hostile to the thought of being 'locked up'. It's possible your mum has a similar weird mental image of such places too. And would rather die than allow that to happen to her.
When push comes to shove, though, it is in the end her decision.
I really hadn't thought about that aspect.
She used to work in psych wards so that makes a lot of sense.
It is her decision.
I'm sorry for what you're going through man ❤️