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this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2026
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Introducing ~1~ the Apple Xtra Xtreme Xserver, exclusively with subscriptions ~2~ available in Pro, Pro Plus, Xecutive One and Pro Xecutive One Plus! (wheels $799.99 extra ~3~)
~1~ purchase of hardware does not imply ownership
~2~ subscribing to service also agrees all data stored on or passing through will be used to train AI
~3~ because fuck you that's why
edit: cry more Apple fanboys