322

The FBI Doubles Down on Easing ‘Bestiality’ Hiring Standards (www.wired.com)

submitted 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) by Aatube@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

91 comments fedilink hide all child comments

“Why would you even get into bestiality?” he asked. “We’re not into bestiality,” said Patel.

In a further exchange, Patel explained to Senator John Kennedy, the Louisiana Republican, that previously, regulations had barred anyone who engaged in bestiality “on either side of it.”

“Either side of what, the bestiality?” asked Kennedy. “So you disqualified the animal?”

“We have great canines, but we’re not going to disqualify them,” said Patel.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] RamRabbit@lemmy.world -2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

The body is talking about no longer barring trafficking victims who were forced against their will to perform sexual acts with animals. It's pretty obvious one should not bar the victim from a job.

The only 'not the onion' part of this article is the title which does not make the facts clear.

[-] Tippy@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 hours ago

Are you somehow under the impression that victims of sexual abuse are convicted of the felonies perpetrated against them?

The policy was to bar FELONS, as is the case at any law enforcement agency.

[-] RamRabbit@lemmy.world 0 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

The article repeatedly states this is about sexual victims. It doesn't use the word 'felon' a single time. Not only that, it even points out that those convicted of such crimes are still not eligible for employment.

new FBI hiring standards are aimed at protecting “victims of bestiality.”

“Applicants who have engaged in bestiality means they were victims of bestiality because they were forced to do so,” replied Patel. “At this FBI we are not going to criminalize and prevent victims from serving.”

multiple individuals have been disqualified from applying for the agency because they were victims of human-trafficking-related bestiality.

the FBI has had a number of applicants in previous years who suffered sexual abuse in their past, causing questions about prostitution, bestiality, or other similar issues to affect their background check process through zero fault of their own. Previously, those applicants would be barred from consideration. Now they can be considered.

It is false to suggest criminal behavior like this is no longer disqualifying at the FBI—any applicant who has engaged in criminal sexual acts like those referenced would of course not be eligible for employment, and it is ridiculous to suggest otherwise.

[-] Tippy@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 hours ago

Yes, we're aware that articles are reporting what Patel is saying the reasoning is. What you're ignoring is that being the victim of a crime has never been a disqualifier and clearly was not the intention of these policies, because it would be ridiculous to believe someone forcibly raped by an animal chose to engage willingly, regardless of what the sexual abusers themselves claim.

The only reason that this is being altered is because, as we have already seen, many of the people being recruited by the federal government to form the gestapo are convicted sexual predators and this can lead to legal accountability down the line if and when they are no longer in power

[-] Aatube@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 hours ago

are you not amused nor concerned by the quotes i’ve put into the body that others are calling “SNL skit”–worthy?

this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2026

322 points (99.4% liked)

Not The Onion

22485 readers

1445 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

kescusay@lemmy.world