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submitted 21 hours ago by xc2215x@lemmy.world to c/news@lemmy.world
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[-] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 4 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

For me it's more a gradual build up with distinct stages which I'm gonna list as stages for lack of a better way of explaining that irritation, trying to leave, cackling dumbfuck, calm, and beserker. Once I'm at that final stage Ive still got some rationality but it's almost all going towards being either a sadist or trying to acquire weapons, it has lead me to trying to steal at least one cops taser to specifically tase him in the nuts since I couldn't get out of my situation and figured that inflicting pain for my own amusement was the next best thing besides winning. Also I just don't feel pain in that state, in a different meltdown where I was at school I nearly crushed a different cop with one of those heavy ass metal bench tables with the rubberized coating, I was 8 I'm pretty sure I wrecked myself with that one since I slept for like 2 days straight after that meltdown.

[-] meco03211@lemmy.world 2 points 13 hours ago

How many run ins with the law have you had?

[-] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 2 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

As an adult? None. As an abused child with severe trauma? Like 5 I think. Honestly my memory from that period is absolutely fucked, it's basically a bunch of flashes and what amounts to a list of things rather than any actually livable memory.

Basically every instance of me even getting close to going berserk since when I was around 14 has usually resulted in me just kinda fucking off, or otherwise resolving it in the calm stage. Turns out me being allowed to be alone is a great way for me to cool off. There was one instance when I was about 17 when someone punched me in the face so I hit him with a table, basically went berserk long enough to get him off me but didn't act like a sociopath since I was kinda too hungry to think at that point I was already acting like a zombie trying to get to Taco Bell for lunch.

this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2026
185 points (98.4% liked)

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