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This happened in Edinburgh, Scotland 🏴
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this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2026
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American here. I ride with a gun. Seriously.
I fucking hate it, but people like this are everywhere and nobody's helping a cyclist.
Actually, Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I’m from Texas. I once witnessed a guy who took a lady cyclist right of way, nothing much you may say, but I got my gun out and shot a hole in the car’s motor the size of a bowling ball. An eye for an eye, thought him a lesson I tell you. Alas, this altercation was witnessed by the police, and I was arrested for aggravated assault. Seems the female cyclist didn’t have the right of way after all. I write these lines from prison, but I would still vote for Trump in the next election.
Then everyone clapped.
They're trying to dunk on the first comment, and you're trying to dunk on them...
Hilarious.
My decision to ride armed was finalized after being followed for 5+ miles by a jeep full of large dudes yelling physical threats at me for riding a bicycle.
I had to hide under a bridge until they got tired of looking for me. Lovely story though.
Ah, you see, the problem was that it was a white car you shot
You guys waiting for an election?
y'all downvoters need to read between the lines
Either they're an asshole or... they're an asshole. What's your point?
It's satire. And it made me laugh because it was done so well.
I'm aware it was satire. They're still an asshole. What's your point?
I don't know why you're saying they're an asshole. Do you not like them for some reason besides writing a satirical comment? Is Jonathan Swift an asshole for writing A Modest Proposal?
The user they replied to had a legitimate concern for their safety and took steps that allowed them protect themselves in some possible scenarios. Why the fuck would anyone mock that?
Assholes. Assholes would.
I empathize with their safety concern, but I reject the assertion that carrying a gun makes anyone safer. I think it increases the chances of someone getting shot, including the carrier.
I guess because of this, I didn't interpret the satirical comment as straight-up mockery.
Suppose I said I always carry a katana for protection on the subway. It's outlandish — you'd be within your rights to make a little fun of my solution! It doesn't invalidate the real safety issues and unacceptable violence that do exist.
Just trying to explain my interpretation of this comment thread. You're free to have your own opinion :)
There's plenty of accounts of cyclists getting attacked by drivers who stop their car in front of them, get out of their truck, and physically assault them from unprovoked road rage. Having a concealed carry pistol would absolutely put a stop to that. And guns don't just go off on their own, especially when in a holster.
Not really, because in a subway you'd generally have other people around to help fight off someone going nuts. Plus, swords are cumbersome and very obvious to carry around, unlike a concealed pistol
Being able to defend yourself from a nutjob with a >2000lb vehicle that you can't run away from is "unacceptable"? That's fucked up. Leave that accusation for the road-ragers, not people trying to ride their bike in peace.
Genuinely can't tell if this is satire or not
Yes, I’m particularly pleased with this one. Especially the out of context mention of Trump 😝
And if that driver also rode with a gun?
Then you get your gun a gun, I think. I don't know, I'm European.
We call that a side-gun
You gotta pull out a bigger gun. Maybe convert your bike into a technical using the back rack
They'd back off, because people who use their cars to bully cyclists are extreme pussies. They only harass others when they think the other side is powerless.
Also, they probably won't have the gun in their hands when they get out of the vehicle. Either they'd need to run back to get it, or draw from a concealed holster.
What most people fail to understand is that reaction is slower than action. If you draw first on the asshole, they're not prepared. And before anyone argues, yes, driving up to a cyclist and then stomping towards them is a credible threat. And cyclists do sometimes find themselves in that situation because these drivers have fragile egos that they need to stroke.
Understand the sentiment. I only ride on the little reserved infrastructure there is or on quiet roads. Motor vehicles still use the cycle path anyway, bicycle jousting seems like a solution when you get passed by an idiot on an electric scooter going 80 kph on a narrow path.