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[-] ScoffingLizard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

This does not bode well for me. My prognosis is a heart attack before 50.

I already know it deep down though. I'm going to live until I'm 970 years old, and I'm going to be so pissed that there will be a thundercloud of misery following me around. Flowers will die as I walk past, birds will fly away, and children will dare each other to peep through my fence. When the front door opens and they hear all the bones dangling from my cane, and they'll run screaming in terror.

this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2026
377 points (94.8% liked)

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