I tried to tell my wife this, multiple times. Now she wonders why the cat plays gentle with me but rough as hell with her.

She (the cat) will still attack my hand, but without claws or biting hard. She'll even get under the blankets to fight me through them.

The way I accomplished this was by teaching her that if she got too rough it meant no more playing for about an hour. Since she always wants to play, it was an effective deterrent.