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Why does Linux have such a terrible sleep?
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I would expect overheating protection to occur at the hardware level: first downclock the CPU and forcibly just halt if heat gets critical for too long.
Sure but the update can already have done some stuff, leaving your machine in a half-updated and maybe corrupted state. If downclocking doesn't work there really isn't a good solution here.
Edit: oh wait there is, DON'T UPDATE WHEN SLEEPING. And on top of that, just don't update without my explicit approval at all. Thankfully I run linux where, if it's not the default already, it's a config value away.