This study examines how this generation of young heterosexual men—who have come of age in the “age of consent”—emotionally experience sex. We thematically analyzed 31 in-depth interviews with men aged 18 to 32 years. The most striking finding is how rarely these men described enjoying sex. Three themes emerged. First, anxiety and vigilance accompanied sexual encounters. Second, there was a moral concern about causing harm to a sexual partner. Third, shame arose not only from accusations by others, but also from self-criticism. The themes overlap substantially, suggesting aspects of a complex, sometimes contradictory experience. The defining feature is an inward turn: a cultural suspicion of men appears to have been internalized by some young men. For these men, the question when navigating consent is often not only “does she want this?” but “am I the kind of man who could get this wrong?” Sex, as one participant put it, is “like you’re trying to defuse a bomb.” These young men have come to approach sex as a hazard to manage rather than a relational experience to share. They attributed this wariness to the cultural climate that surrounds consent.
A lot of rapes and false rape accusations, never go to court.
They live in the non-legal space of he said/she said. And they still have consequences for people's lives.
You can't get data about things like this, because it doesn't exist. All that exists are people's experiences and their testimony and the fragility of their perceptions and memories.
and that is all incredibly murky and can get into very dark places of human psychology that folks don't want to acknowledge. like how much of sexual assault and sexual trauma is tied to mental illness, and how the cycle of abuse perpetuates itself and how victims often become future abusers.