This study examines how this generation of young heterosexual men—who have come of age in the “age of consent”—emotionally experience sex. We thematically analyzed 31 in-depth interviews with men aged 18 to 32 years. The most striking finding is how rarely these men described enjoying sex. Three themes emerged. First, anxiety and vigilance accompanied sexual encounters. Second, there was a moral concern about causing harm to a sexual partner. Third, shame arose not only from accusations by others, but also from self-criticism. The themes overlap substantially, suggesting aspects of a complex, sometimes contradictory experience. The defining feature is an inward turn: a cultural suspicion of men appears to have been internalized by some young men. For these men, the question when navigating consent is often not only “does she want this?” but “am I the kind of man who could get this wrong?” Sex, as one participant put it, is “like you’re trying to defuse a bomb.” These young men have come to approach sex as a hazard to manage rather than a relational experience to share. They attributed this wariness to the cultural climate that surrounds consent.
Hi. I have been raped, yes. By a woman. I'm not sure how that's relevant here. I have never had the threat of a false accusation used to coerce me into sex. Nor have I ever heard of it happening in the real world. If that happened to you, I am very sorry. But the fact is, my individual experience of being raped by a woman (and your - possibly hypothetical? experience of being threatened into sex), while awful and traumatizing and worthy of support and care, are not the systematic and institutionalized problem that the rape of women and femme-presenting people is. Nor does it really speak to the issue raised in the article or the issue I raised above.
I don't know where you got the impression that I think men are inherently evil - in fact, that's one of the things that I had to struggle against when I was an angry young man - the belief - that the manosphere and these types of folks implicitly endorse - that men cannot help themselves without sex, that we are wild animals and that women use this to exploit us with their harlot ways or whatever.
If you are a man - I promise you are not inherently evil. People are not inherently evil, and if anyone, feminist or not, made you feel that way, that was wrong. But your anger is misdirected. I promise.
Right, so if something bad happens to a man it's not a big deal, but if it happens to a woman it's a systematic problem.
And you seriously can't grasp why young men aren't on 'your side'? Because your entire reply here is trite, patronizing, and totally dismissive.
If something happens to a man of course it's a big deal..."systematic" is about a broader social pattern, not about how big of a deal one particular occurrence is...my rape was as big of a deal as a woman being raped. That doesn't make it systematic or not systematic.
You've got a lot of anger or something clouding how you're reading my words. I corrected something you accused me of in my first comment and answered your questions about being raped or threatened.
I won't comment more on this thread but I do genuinely hope you find some peace, man.
If you regard criticism of your POV and leftist feminism as 'anger'... than yeah, you are already lost and you won't be winning any young men over to your side.
You are so ideologically captured you really cannot see how your attitude and ideology is so condescending to young men and why they want nothing to do with it. Because nothing anyone says to you is legitimate that isn't already what you have pre-ordain to be the truth.
The problem with modern leftism of any flavor is that it totally reject the lived reality of human beings and tells them their experiences are wrong or 'misguided'. Maybe you should try meeting people where they are, instead of lecturing them from on high about how they are 'supposed' to be, you might find people more sympathetic to your views that way.
Wow, you are massively projecting. I'd suggest taking a step back and getting some distance from this thread.