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Yeah and as someone who hated Shakespeare back in my grade school days (and still does), I couldn't care less about that. I simply want to see a modern take on his plays with the script translated to a prose that I can actually understand.
As someone with ADHD, it's difficult enough as-is to focus on words on a page written in a modern dialect, let alone an ancient one! Canterbury Tales was an even worse time for me because of this. I have to be fully invested in the story, or I can't understand a damn thing in these old manuscripts because my brain refuses to pay attention to anything that isn't urgent, interesting, or novel to me.
Are you aware you're asking for something that cannot exist? If you don't have the Shakespearean prose, it's not Shakespeare. It's the identifying element of the thing. You can bend and stretch many aspects of a work, but you can't remove the identifying elements. For poets, like Shakespeare, their word choice is core to the identity of the work. The 'story' is almost meaningless.
e.g. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening and Loveliest of Trees have the same 'story,' a man takes a moment to appreciate the aesthetic qualities of a treed landscape in winter, but one would never say they were the same thing.
Why not? If religious people can update the Bible translations to use modern English, why can't we do the same with non-religious texts?
Because the goals are different. They aren't trying to share the poetry of the various original authors of the bible. They are trying to share the stories of the christian mythos to enable/convince people to be christians. We can create things like a movie from a book or translate a book/movie and somewhat call it the same thing (though, even then, it also somewhat isn't) because the story/plot is the identity of the thing and word choice is considered secondary, but in poetry, so much of what makes a poem itself comes down to individual words and punctuation marks, changing one can be significant, let alone changing the entire text.