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this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2026
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No Stupid Questions
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Pick one lol.
But how do you know I don't go vote in place of my friend every time and write in Bruce Campbell because I think it's funny, and I just don't get caught? There's literally no way to know, he'd have to vote for once to catch me.
It's like my mom said when I was a kid "you get caught EVERY TIME you do bad stuff.." yes mom, every time. Pay no attention to the 500 nights you didn't catch me sneaking out, must not have snuck out yup that's it, nothing to see here..
Well it's far simpler than you think. If your friend votes, then two votes bynhim show up. Easy detect. If you friend doesn't, they also probably didn't bother to register. So trying to vote as them won't work, and will get you identified. You need someone you know registered and you know isn't going to vote. It's not super common to have that kind of situation and truely know they won't vote. Thus they mentioned the dead relative situation. But that is detectable on audit.
Covered that already:
There's a reason I'm referring to my non-voting friend as non-voting, it's to imply that he doesn't vote, so that kinda sorta precludes the whole "he votes" thing anyway because the premise is that he does not, in fact, vote.
He was born with a penis, he's registered for the draft since 18 and therefore to vote since 18 as well, because those are coupled for people born with a penis. Unless he changes his name (unlikely) or political affiliation (for what, to vote in primaries? He doesn't vote.) Technically he should re-register because he changed his address, but again why would he if he doesn't vote? Literally no consequences could befall him, there's no incentive for him to do it. Bro I'm still registered at my mom's despite having bought a house (which the government knows about because it's public info), because it's easier to just drive 15min to my old polling place every few years than to go fill out a form, been doing it for years, and I vote! There's no way in hell he's ever going to change that address from his parents' just to continue not voting.
Literally all 18+ AMABs in the US
Know any AMABs that don't vote? There's one right there. Not as uncommon as you might think.
Interesting. So while signing up for the selective service that I assume you are referring to, does not have anything to do with registering to vote. Some states do automatically register you when you get your drivers license. My state did not, so I didn't know some did. That said, when you register or even automatically get registered by the dmv. They attach your signature to the registration. And in states that don't require id, they require you to sign the poll book. And they compare that to the registration.
So if you live in an auto registration state, you still can't vote for your friend unless you can also forge thier signature.
Huh, I done googled it, and it appears we were lied to, but my high school told us all that was the case. I guess I just forgot that I must have separately registered to vote? Or maybe I live in one of those states, idk, it was decades ago to be fair, but we were for sure told that in order to vote we had to register for the draft. Glad to learn it isn't true, thanks!
I guess you're right then, he had to have registered at some point (or we live in one of the auto states). Also probably why you shouldn't make your signature some squiggles though..
And odd that they haven't called me on the fact that my actual signature has changed since then, since I worked on it at one point out of boredom.
I have had my ballot denied because my sig didn't match. It was a while ago. But I had to redo my signature for the file, and I took a picture of it so I would know how I signed it. I did get my ballot counted though eventually. We are a vote by mail state. It's been a while since I was at the dmv, we get 10 years out of one license. But when I was last there they asked me if I wanted to register to vote as well. So I think that is how a lot of people do it. But with online options for changing address and such, not sure if the website will do the same.
The (well, my state's) website doesn't ask about registering to vote with online address changes, I know that for sure because I've done that fairly recently.
But interesting, I've never been denied for a signature not matching and now I wonder why.
Except that the US and multiple organizations have conducted research on voter fraud and guess what it's .003% of voting AND it's nearly always the people clamoring for the ID.
Don't believe the bullshit.
But how exactly? Only the ones who got caught? Self reporting?
How? How do you specifically know I specifically don't write in Bruce Campbell for my friend every presidential election because I think it's fucking hilarious? I've never been caught, for all they know he really thinks the president should have a Boomstick to save us from Deadites.
What do you think they review security cam footage? Think the nameless volunteer who has never met me nor my friend is going to notice that I'm not really Steve I'm actually three kids in a trenchcoat?
There are organizations like Heritage whose goal for decades now has been to prove there's rampant election fraud. Guess what bud, they've failed every god damn time..
https://ballotpedia.org/Votes_cast_in_the_names_of_deceased_people
Voter rolls are lists. Lists can be double checked by both humans and machines, I know this is shocking to the uncreative..
Enough with the bullshit.
My friend is very much alive so I doubt he'll show up on the list of dead people, I will concede however that it'll become much harder to do when he does die (but SO much funnier, a dead guy voting for Bruce Campbell? The irony.)
Yeah, the list can be double checked, but they don't know that I'm Steve for the afternoon, because the real Steve is at work and then probably ordering a pizza, as long as he doesn't die at work before I cast his vote I'm home free. There's no double Steve there's only double me, but one of me is wearing a figurative fake moustache in the form of "Hello my name is Steve Rizzo" [name changed to protect the innocent] and a different polling place.
Also for the record, go ahead and try, you have an opportunity on Tuesday! Tell me how it goes :)
Another one? Great it's been a few years. Don't know how many more chances I'll get before Bruce dies and I haven't picked his replacement yet.