I feel you on exposures :)

Honestly, lemmy/fediverse really does feel like a community to me. There's a sense of connection across the screen that's possible. But you're right, it does feel public rather than private. It is more like talking at a block party, or similar get togethers than chilling with friends at home.

The real key to navigating it as an introvert is that digital communication is very time unsensitive. If I'm low on spoons, I can just hold off on responding for a few hours, and there's still a connection. Or, it's perfectly okay to just let it go. It's fine to let a conversation end without saying goodbye online. That really is a great thing for folks with limited social batteries