this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2023
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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by shapis@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
 

I have a few questions on how to best behave to be as welcoming and inclusive as possible without sounding bad. I hope you guys don't hate me.

I'm just a straight male. Are my pronouns he/him? Is that how I should tell people? Do you actually tell them as you meet them ? Do I have to wait for a certain social cue ?

How about online. Should I tell people or have it on my personal profile somewhere?

And about respecting other people's pronouns. How do i figure them out ? Is it a big faux pas if I don't before I know them ? Is it a faux pas if I refer to someone I just met and I assumed to be male as he/him?

I've never seen anyone referring to anyone irl by non conventional pronouns. Is it an actual thing or is it currently being pushed to make the world a more inclusive place?

I'd love some help with all of this.

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[–] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Can we not dig up people's comment history to win arguments? That's kinda toxic.

[–] pixxelkick@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you dont like people using your own words against you, don't post it on the internet where the entire world can see it.

What, exactly, is toxic about holding someone to their own word?

What is toxic, precisely, about pointing out how a persons own statement mere days ago directly contradicts their current stance now?

If highlighting a persons inconsistencies and self contradictions is toxic, then so I shall be. I have zero issue with calling people out on their bullshit though.

Don't like it? Stop posting on the public of the internet on a forum where your words will be marked down for the rest of history (or at least, until Lemmy instances all suddenly stop being used, which likely won't be anytime soon)

[–] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There's a basic expectation, when you make an argument on a public forum, that it'll be judged on the content of the argument, not on who posted it. If you want to look through their history to see if they're a troll, and then just ignore them if they are, there's nothing wrong with that.

What you did was say "you're stupid and lazy," but for no good reason, you used that guy's own words to say it. That was entirely unnecessary. It didn't prove any inconsistency, it just proved that, like many people on Lemmy, the guy thinks a lot of people are dumb.

What is non-toxic about using someone's own words from past threads to insult them when you already have enough of a text wall to make your point?

[–] pixxelkick@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

What you did was say β€œyou’re stupid and lazy,”

Extremely reductive and explains why you viewed it as toxic.

That is not what I said, at all. You have focused on the wrong parts of what I quoted, and ignored the context of my statements surrounding the quote.

If you read what I wrote, you should see that was not what I said at all.

So yeah, I guess if you quickly skim over what I wrote, not really reading it much, focus on the quote I called out, and assume there is some sort of insult buried in their to be dredged up and squint your eye's hard enough, you can draw such a conclusion.

But I'd recommend go back and read what I wrote instead.