this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2023
14 points (100.0% liked)
Melbourne
1871 readers
53 users here now
This community is a place created for the people of Melbourne and Victoria. We are a positive, welcoming and inclusive community. We might not agree about everything, but we always strive to stay civil and respectful.
The focus of our discussions is based around things that affect Victoria, but we are also free to discuss our local perspective on wider issues. Or head to the regular Daily Random Discussion thread to talk about anything.
Ongoing discussions, FAQs & Resources (still under construction)
Adoption Certificate for Nellie, the Daily Thread numbat (with thanks to @Catfish)
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Yes that’s exactly it. He works long and hard at a job he wants to leave so I totally get it. But I’ve had to really start articulating that I am up every 2-3 hours at night PLUS looking after baby all day. A baby who is much harder work than the sleepy little newborn he got to know on his parental leave! We are just in this awkward phase where baby has a lot more needs so the load is heavier and we haven’t quite figured out how to distribute it.
I only just discovered the other week that if I hold baby facing away from me (not towards me) he won’t scream bloody murder. Sometimes you gotta adapt and overcome.
LOL funny and random trick but hey if it works it works
I can only tell you how we did it but everyone has different needs. When my husband came home he had about a half an hour to detox then he took over baby duties. That gave me time to prepare dinner, go shopping, etc. When it was bath time I'd wash baby then he took over dressing her and feeding I then was able to wash and care for myself. On the weekends he took one day I took the other to get stuff done uninterrupted. Housework, self care, shopping whatever needed to be done. What we did is communicate what important things need to get done and everything else is flexible. Baby's needs always comes first.
That is helpful, thank you for sharing! I have been considering proposing a full day each type system for the weekends. Right now it’s hodge podge and it ends up I’m still doing most of the work. He never says no if I ask him to take the baby but it’s annoying to even have to ask and not know when/if I’ll get my “me” time. Usually it ends up happening right at the end of the day when I’m too tired to then do anything I actually want to do.
That happens a lot. We get to the end of the day and we're too exhausted to do anything else. I would advise to write a list of important things that need to be done so you don't forget them. I did point out to my husband that he is a grown arse man who can feed and care for himself. My baby can not so my priority is for her. He then admitted that he would not want it any other way.