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Shouting at children can be as damaging as physical or sexual abuse, study says
(www.theguardian.com)
this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2023
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I am 32. I love my dad, he did his best. He was a good dad.
But I will probably never be able to forgive him for the times he shouted and yelled at me when I wasn't a good kid. He went into fits of rage over mundane things like homework and failing school. I remember everything he said in those fits of rage. Every instance of it. And I definitely remember feeling terrified.
And will remember it until the day I die.
Even at 70 years old.
This makes me sad tbh. I'm 21, and get flashbacks of my dad yelling at me, especially when someone yells at me irl. I was scared that I'd spend my life trying to get rid of them... now I wonder if that's even possible
You might be able to do it if you'll get closure by talking to your dad about it.
My dad is the type that is never wrong, never does anything bad, and therefore never apologizes. I brought this up a few times and he always say I exagerrate or those instances never happened. He will never own up to it.
Unfortunately, both my parents are like that too. I went no contact for that reason, actually.
It is possible to get closure anyway, eg. by not doing the same mistake yourself or by surrouding yourself with healthy relationships and realizing your parent is just a human being full of faults and you're your own person. I have examples around me of people who were able to get over it finally and also of people who carried it with them their whole life (and I don't blame them). The sad thing is how many people have such burden in the first place.