this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2023
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Yeah, I'm not sure there's a good answer to be found here, but clearer messaging about exactly what the rules mean would help avoid confusion.
I took "no NSFW content" to mean no creating NSFW communities or posting NSFW content to any of the communities hosted there, but I had not assumed it would mean no subscribing to NSFW communities on other instances, or posting to NSFW communities on other instances. Understanding now the way that embedded media works though I'd now assume you could probably subscribe to NSFW communities on other instances, but not post to them.
Personally I have no problem with NSFW content, so I kind of regret signing up on lemmy.ml, but on the other hand there are no lemmy instances that currently allow NSFW content that I could sign up with, and there definitely weren't any 2 years ago when I created this account.
As for self hosting, while I do have the knowledge to do so, it's a question of motivation and priorities. I simply don't want the headache of running a server, I'm annoyed enough as it is just keeping my home systems patched and up to date. I used to run some servers for other things, but after not even logging into one for nearly a year (yes, that's terrible and very risky) I decided to retire them.
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I had considered setting up an account on beehaw, but the no downvotes thing really bothers me. Plus it still has the no NSFW problem. There's only a couple people I've seen so far on lemmy.ml that post Russian and Chinese propaganda that I've had to block, but I also understand that they aren't technically violating the rules of the server so there's nothing the admins can (or should) do in those cases. I'm a strong believer in freedom of speech so I'm against censorship in general however I also feel that the corollary to that is that nobody should be subjected to something without their consent. If it becomes more of a problem I might look for a different server, but unfortunately lemmy.ml is one of the biggest instances so many of the communities I'm interested in are based out of it. Even if I registered elsewhere I think I'd still end up subscribed to several of its communities.
Longer term, I feel as if the federation model of lemmy is slightly misaligned. Like the communities and users should be more decoupled or something. I don't know, don't have a good solution, just a general feeling like all the pieces don't quite fit together right currently, but they're close.
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Just chiming in to thank both of you for that interesting discussion