this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2023
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Would you guys like me to give you household tips everyday? Because I have a lot of books on the subject and I have done many experiments over the years. My mum and dad were cleaners in past lives. We call cobwebs "Christmas decorations".
Yea please. Bonus points if you also include some crack/snake oil historical ones or dumb misogynistic household tips from the 50s.
"Take a moment before your husband is due to arrive home from work to freshen yourself up" said the generation that had real cocaine in their coke.
I like the one about not nagging your husband when he gets home because he's had a hard day and don't forget to apply some lipstick. 💄
If I had a bump of coke, I reckon I could cook a roast dinner, clean the house and entertain the boss too. All in a pair of heels
Hell yeah 🤣
Well now I know why my brilliance has been foiled and my accomplishments tarnished
Why didn’t anyone tell me that to be useful to the church and society, I just had to iron Mr Omoikiri’s shirts?
You are a blemish in your garments!
A phrase I have never heard before, am not sure exactly what it means, but it certainly sounds bad.
I’ve got a book that recommends doing your hair and putting on lipstick before sewing
I haven’t washed my hair in four days, do you think I’ll be right to fire up the Singer?
Absolutely not! It will threadlock instantly in shock at your shameful hygiene
What if I arrange my husbands pillow for him, and offer to take his shoes off too?
No pipe and martini?
I do have books on those subjects.
Oh baby. Give it to me
For you
spoiler
Wunnderful! Does it include making pot scourers from the combings of horsehair from the horse that pulls the family carriage? And using cabbage leaves to clean the toilet (thunderbox style)? I have a copy of the 1898 edition of Mrs Beeton's Book of Household Management, which contains useful advice on hiring a butler. And housemaids. I could use both but the supply is very limited rn.
Is it like this book that has about 1000 pages?
spoiler
Yep. Only a MUCH older edition. The recipies are about half of it. The rest is 'household management'. Including how to clean carpets without a vacuum, and how to prepare a bedroom suite for guests of ducal rank. Used tea leaves are involved for the carpets. And guests of ducal rank expect a tin of biscuits on the mantelpiece in case they get the munchies during the night. And fresh sealing wax in the escritoire. Makes one wonder a bit what the Gs of DR were getting up to on the preceding evening.
Oh my god.
I can’t wait to hear about everything I’m doing wrong.
I haven't read them in a really long time so I don't know how far I've fallen.
Yes please. I need all the help I can get...
Anything in particular i can help with right now?
Absolutely! Like u/anotherspringchicken if it can't be solved with bicarb soda, vinegar or gaffer tape, I'm SOL.
Yes please! My repertoire extends to bicarb soda and gaffer, and if things can’t be cleaned or fixed with either of those I’m out of ideas
I think I can improve on that.