this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2023
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Unpopular Opinion

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There are more women with incel beliefs than men and nobody cares/labels them (lemm.ee)
submitted 1 year ago by AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee to c/unpopularopinion@lemmy.world
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I have so many friends who would 100% be labeled as an incel if they were men. They hold men to impossibly high standards while meeting none of those standards themselves.

For example, women living with parents while expecting men to have their own place, women who are obese but are only interested in fit men, working part time while expecting a man who has a career, refusing to drive and expecting men to chauffeur them around, expecting men to have a variety of friends and interests while doing nothing but watching TV all day, etc.

The worst part is, calling out this inequality will 100% get any man labeled as an incel. We're expected to either deal with it or be alone forever.

This is NOT to undermine the very real issues women have to deal with, for example the loss of bodily autonomy in the US. But this is still an issue worth discussing and nobody is talking about it.

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[–] 520@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Is that really your experience with women though?

To ask the question more precisely, is this really what women are thinking, or are you taking everything at face value? Because with social interactions, there is always something unsaid also going on.

A lot of these women with hard rules will overlook them when dealing with someone they're genuinely attracted to, and the rules for that are almost never hard and fast. Generally, it happens when they develop really strong positive associations with someone, like they're fun, they're exciting, they're good listeners, etc.

The rules are arbitrary. The real filter is how you make people feel.