this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2023
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Hey Folks!

I've been living abroad for over half my life in a country where tipping is not the norm. At most you would round up. 19€ bill? Here's a 20, keep this change.

Going to the US soon to visit family and the whole idea of tipping makes me nervous. It seems there's a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don't know how much has changed in this regard.

The system seems ridiculously unfair, and that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference.

So will AITA if I don't tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

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[–] ajimix@lemmy.ml -2 points 1 year ago (3 children)

If you look like a tourist you will not have much of a problem. I also live in a country where tipping is never done and when I travel to the US I never tip as I don’t agree with that system and I’m not used to it. Nobody ever told me anything or complained

[–] feidry@midwest.social 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Of course no one said anything. That would be rude. But not tipping your server is very much an asshole move, foreign or not. Those service industry workers rely on the tips because their wages are basically nothing. I agree that they should be paid a fair wage but that's just not how it works here in the US.

[–] gkd@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 year ago

Yep. Just because people don’t say something doesn’t mean they don’t feel some type of way about it.

[–] Dirk@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Employers not properly paying the servers is the real asshole move here.

[–] DrWeevilJammer@lm.rdbt.no 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Yes, but you're not hurting the employer when you don't tip, you're hurting the server.

[–] Dirk@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago

Yes, The USA need to change. So you should deny and hate "tipping culture" and actively help getting rid of it but you should still tip the people because tips are part of their income.

[–] Azzu@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 year ago

Actually, you are hurting the employer by hurting the server. Just not nearly as much.

[–] ritswd@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Ouch, I think you are being oblivious to how your move is being received. I know it’s cultural and it can be complicated to understand when not used to a culture (I was born a European, and became a naturalized American), but in the US culture, that is a move only done by truly terrible people.

I’m not saying you’re a terrible person, clearly you’re not realizing how terrible this is in the culture. But I promise it really is. It would be similar in Europe to insulting the waiter, and then saying “but it’s fine in my country”. It might be true depending on where you’re from, but it doesn’t make it better because that’s not where you are.

Seriously ouch on this one…

[–] TheGayTramp@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 year ago

Ever heard of the phrase “when in Rome do as the Romans do”?

I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if people came to your country and did things that were seen as incredibly rude but said “oh it’s ok, in my country it’s fine”