this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2023
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Hey Folks!

I've been living abroad for over half my life in a country where tipping is not the norm. At most you would round up. 19โ‚ฌ bill? Here's a 20, keep this change.

Going to the US soon to visit family and the whole idea of tipping makes me nervous. It seems there's a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don't know how much has changed in this regard.

The system seems ridiculously unfair, and that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference.

So will AITA if I don't tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

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[โ€“] dandroid@dandroid.app 56 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Just FYI, we have recently had a huge influx of electronic systems asking for tips in places that tips didn't exist before. I only tip when I sit down to eat at a restaurant and they serve me. If you walk up to the counter to order, you don't tip. If you are ordering takeout (even at a sit-down restaurant), you don't tip.

It's a really fucking stupid system that most of us hate, but if you don't participate, you are the asshole according to our culture (even though we know it's really the businesses not paying their employees enough that are really the assholes)

Edit: oh, and then "suggested tip" went up around the same time that these electronic systems popped up. My whole life, a 10% tip was bad, a 15% tip was average. A 20% tip was good. Now it seems the "suggested tip" says you should tip 20% minimum. I think this is bullshit, and I ignore it. The people who are suggesting the tip are the ones that benefit from it going higher. They are always going to try to increase it as long as they can get away with it. I stick to the 10/15/20% rule.

[โ€“] kn0wmad1c@programming.dev 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

There's been a small movement towards going tipless that hasn't yet caught on because tip culture is primarily backed by greed. Restaurant owners want customers to pay their employees directly instead of providing them with a decent wage.

I know I'm likely misrepresenting, but that's the gist as I see it, and until greed goes away everything @dandroid@dandroid.app said holds true.

[โ€“] Saik0Shinigami@lemmy.saik0.com 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Restaurant owners want customers to pay their employees directly instead of providing them with a decent wage.

A lot of employees want this as well. Those who do well in well traveled restaurants or bars then to make WELL over the minimum wage. This is why the employees get mad at the patron/client rather than their employer when they don't get a tip. It works... it's what many of them want.

The sad part is that prices for things have already been going up considerably... So what was a $5 tip @ 10% years ago is now closer to $20 tip @ 20% today for the same meals/amount of food. It isn't a 2x increase at all... Since it's % based on subtotal and those costs have been going up... it's significantly more if you follow their "minimum" percent tips.

I follow something similar to Dandroid and refuse to change. I only tip for sit-down restaurants where an actual servers brings me my food. If I get shit service, you're not getting a tip. If it's basic service, you'll get 10%... 15% for "good"... 20% for outstanding. Although looking at the laws in my state, I'm debating on cutting it back considerably. Minimum wage in my state is not the $3.and change per hour for those positions. It's just about $11 and the normal minimum wage is $13 and change. So if I'm the only table in their whole section, and I tip 2$ per hour, they're making minimum wage. And people here still complain about the tipping... The only explanation is greed... and I can't stand that at all.

[โ€“] kn0wmad1c@programming.dev 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

~~As I recall, restaurants can get by with giving workers well below minimum wage because of tips.~~

EDIT: I just re-read your post

[โ€“] Saik0Shinigami@lemmy.saik0.com 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/state/minimum-wage/tipped

This is a great resource when these discussions come up. Many states do NOT adhere to the $2.13 tipped wage.

In my state (AZ) it's $10.85. People here still complain about tips. The minimum wage here is $13.85. The $3 difference is nearly guaranteed as long as long as you have 1 table an hour. Forget that the normal where I live is probably closer to 3-4 every hour. [I recognize that other areas may not have such traffic. But I can only comment on what I observe]

If the average table is leaving ~$5 in tips... you could easily make $30 an hour in wages.

This is why I say what I say... It's absurd when I hear local news or something complaining. $30/hr is stupid "livable".

[โ€“] kn0wmad1c@programming.dev 1 points 1 year ago

My state is listed in the "required to pay full minimum wage" category. Good to know.

[โ€“] kamenoko@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

"I could do profit sharing and have all my employees benefit from busting their ass, or I could pay them next to nothing and force the customers to supplement their income out of respect or pity."

It shouldn't shock anyone that the practice of tipping has a racist history.

Please continue to tip service workers.