this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
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I think it also has a lot to do with the influence of patiarchy and toxic masculinity on the grieving person.
If you managed to push back against some of society's expectations on men, know how to express more emotions than "angry" and "horny" and have shown vulnerability in the past, people will find it much easier to approach you.
On the other hand, if someone is working super hard to keep up their "manliness", you may realize that they're struggling, but you'll have reservations about tearing down the crumbling facade they're desparately trying to preserve.
I never feel pushed into these role of only being able to express angry and horny except on sites like reddit and by people who use sites like reddit. IRL my male friends are talk openly with each other. It's only a problem when some "hot girl" or SJW type finds out about men having feelings and shames them for it. "The patriarchy" is not the problem. Blaming men for the problems men face is just a form of victim-blaming. It is exactly the kind of thing creating this problem to begin with.