On my original point about "stages", the part that really got me thinking was that the person who designed that questionnaire probably didn't even give it a second glance. They just wrote it, and it felt fine, because to them it seemed like a normal way of thinking.

Same to your point about there being few events that aren't targetted at couples and families. When people are in a heteronormtive couple or a family, then they won't even notice how the whole world seems to be set up in a way that is tailored just for them. It's perfect for their needs, so why would they see anything deficient with it?

[–] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

One of the examples I use to try to get people to think about things like this is how many of my city's parks are designed, with the only benches being in places that face childrens' play areas, the implication being that the only reason an adult should use the park is if they have children to watch.

Yet, there are wide open areas where we could put seating where adults who come on their own could feel welcome, where we could make them more accessible for people with disabilities, etc.

There are of course many bigger problems than just parks, but I feel like if I start small with an example that is easy to understand, maybe people will start to think? And maybe there are things I haven't thought about as well, because I too can have tunnel vision.

[–] tiramichu@lemm.ee 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

The quiet but ever-present whisper of "this place is not for you, you are not welcome here"

A lot of that can be helped by design, but a lot is purely cultural, and driven by perceptions of what others think - or what we believe they think. In Japan for example I always saw loads of people eating out alone in restaurants, it's just a normal thing to do. But in the west less so. Like the societal perception of the whole point of eating out is to do it with someone. Not just because you want some restaurant food.

So a lot can be overcome just by learning to not give a fuck.

It does give a peek into how other groups must feel though, like those with physical disabilities, as if the world is hostile by design. Or even worse, just hostile by omission because nobody remembered to think about you. And it doesn't need to be. But it is.

[–] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 10 months ago

Yeah a lot of these things are so baked in that it might seem hopeless that it can ever change. Not giving a fuck helps on a personal level, but that's easier said than done for a lot of people. In any case, even if we can't fix people's minds, we can still correct things like designs to try to send the message that at least some of us are considerate and accommodating. Of course, some people get angry and lash out when we do make even small minute changes, such as the anti-"woke" people upon seeing a LGBT+ person in media.