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It doesn't actually mean fear in those contexts. Etymologically yes, it comes from the Ancient Greek for fear. For all other purposes, that doesn't really matter. If you're anti-gay then you are a homophobe - case closed, just another English term with slightly odd etymology that is irrelevant to how it's actually used by literally everyone. There are thousands of those.
People starting in on "well, achkchually that means FEAR" just want to either nitpick irrelevant trivia, or hide behind a difference that doesn't really exist. It's like pretending the term "hydrophobic" is wrong "because water can't feel emotions": incorrect, irrelevant, just... a weird argument, and if someone brings it up all the time, you sort of have to wonder what their deal is.
The hypothetical "unwilling bigots", the ones genuinely afraid through no fault of their own, causing no harm and carrying no ill will... I'll empathize with them when I get a reason to believe they exist.
It's more like, if you use the word phobia for hatred in this case, that's fine, but then what is the word for having a genuine fear? What are those people called, who don't hate homosexuality, only fear it? They certainly exist and I feel like it should be a recognised thing rather than them having to either be called a term that doesn't apply to them in how it's used or have their phobia completely unacknowledged.
I've told you "this is the word, this is what it means, I get the confusion but you are unfortunately wrong about it being wrong".
Meanwhile I don't see how any one of your three replies (why? You can fit five thousand characters in one, and edit it after the fact) to my comment actually engage with anything in it, and the topic is now three days old. Have a nice day.
Nobody "fears" homosexuality for reasons unrelated to homophobia, stop giving bigots excuses to hide behind.
Well, aquaphobia is the fear of water. That's a good example because another word actually exists to describe people who are afraid of water rather than just disregarding their fear because the word that might be used for it (hydrophobia) already means something else.
Come to think of it, xenophobia doesn't really work as a fear of other races since that's associated with hatred as well. Is it like if it's common to hate something, we just disregard the capability for some people to have a genuine fear of that thing without hatred? Seems almost like black-and-white thinking. Either you're fully in support of something and not afraid of it, or else if you're afraid of it you must hate it as well. No middle ground or nuance or understanding of people who have a fear they're trying to come to terms with without any hatred.
It appears racial anxiety is a well recognised term that pretty much describes the meaning I'm referring to.