this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2024
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Or social anxiety which is the special kind of purgatory where you constantly rethink about how you're going to reply but don't actually do it and the more time that passes the worse it gets...
My goal is to greet everyone in the morning at my new job.
I'm liked well enough for my knowledge and how hard I work at my current position, but I was still shell shocked from quarantine when I started and avoided eye contact and conversation.
At this point I'm fairly certain everyone thinks I'm differently abled.
Maybe I am.
"Ah, now I didn't reply for a full day, they must hate me now replying is too scary. But I really need to. I'll do it tomorrow, surely"
"Oh god now it's been two days I'm sure they will never want to talk to me ever again nope nope"
Repeat until I somehow manage eventually
this is so energy consuming that it convinced me to make a habit of taking care of social chores as quickly as possible and live the rest of my time in peace.