Found Satan

If you come into my house, you get water, beer, juice, kombucha, wine, at least five tea options, coffee, or even a scotch if you want.

Cheap would be offering them something that's full of sugar, artificial flavour, costs me fuck all, and usually comes with a Happy Meal. I don't insult my friends like that and they wouldn't do it to me either.

Step up your game. It doesn't cost much to be a good host.