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I feel like the term "Incel" has developed somewhat. I guess in the beginning it was used by men struggeling to get into a relationship to refer to themselves. It was used to find others with the same issues, and form a kind of self help group that could provide comfort and maybe even inprovement. If thats what incels were today, they wouldn't be hated like that. Perhaps they would be belittled or made fun of.
But that's not what we understand incels to be today. Incels now seem to be extremely bitter, delusional, pathetic individuals. They don't recognize the issue lies with themselves, instead it's supposedly the fault of the women, who won't accept their place in society. In the mind of an incel, they deserve to have sex, and that means that it should be a woman's duty to please them.
So no, you are probably not an incel, even if perhaps you would have been under the original definition.
Exactly this. I think I remember an interview with the woman (yep) who originally coined the term for herself and her online support group of sorts for people who wanted to better themselves. She has had to watch it morph into what it is now.
Link: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-45284455