this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2024
500 points (93.7% liked)

Funny: Home of the Haha

5754 readers
953 users here now

Welcome to /c/funny, a place for all your humorous and amusing content.

Looking for mods! Send an application to Stamets!

Our Rules:

  1. Keep it civil. We're all people here. Be respectful to one another.

  2. No sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia or any other flavor of bigotry. I should not need to explain this one.

  3. Try not to repost anything posted within the past month. Beyond that, go for it. Not everyone is on every site all the time.


Other Communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] sangriaferret@sh.itjust.works 107 points 8 months ago (6 children)

Get a bidet attachment for your toilet. It will change your life.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 32 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Lemmy has a serious fiber deficiency. Y'all keep relating to bowel trouble, at first I'd make jokes about it but the actual shitposting keeps coming, now I'm just concerned.

[–] sangriaferret@sh.itjust.works 19 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It all goes back to that guy that didn't poop for three days. Lemmy took it as a challenge.

[–] jose1324@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

Challenge? That's literally normal for me

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The chronically online do not traffic the vegetable section apparently

[–] Kolli@sopuli.xyz 7 points 8 months ago

That's really funny :D

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

It was back on reddit too. For some reason taking off all your clothes before taking a shit is relatable to a large part of of the interent. It's bizzare.

[–] Duranie@literature.cafe 30 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Also when poop knocks at the door, ANSWER! Don't keep putting it off if at all humanly possible. The longer poop sits in your colon, the drier it gets and the harder it will be to move later.

And the bidet? With the right pressure it can help knock loose those last little nuggies that you weren't able to get enough oomph behind to dislodge.

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 27 points 8 months ago

Y'all built different

[–] ResoluteCatnap@lemmy.ml 5 points 8 months ago

Playing asteroids! Pew pew!

[–] Rodeo@lemmy.ca 2 points 8 months ago

If you have pressure wash your anus to blast the shit loose, maybe you've got some other problem.

[–] fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 23 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (3 children)

I used a bidet in Thailand and water blew up my ass so hard that it brushed my teeth.

Absolutely never again.

[–] Wes_Dev@lemmy.ml 7 points 8 months ago

That's called that flossing, duh. What did you think water picks were?

[–] sangriaferret@sh.itjust.works 5 points 8 months ago

The same thing happened to me in Spain. It wasn't until I used a friends bidet attachment that I was convinced. It was much easier to control.

[–] starchylemming@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

efficient . just take a dump for deep cleaning.

[–] Ephera@lemmy.ml 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

And if people can't or don't want to immediately install such an attachment, because they have no way of trying out a bidet, you can also buy a travel bidet online, which basically looks like a bottle, and they're representative of the real thing, albeit not as comfortable, of course.

Took me a few days to figure out how to best sploosh myself with that bottle, but I've preferred it since then, even though I still don't have an attachment.

[–] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Backpacker Bidet. Uses any old water bottle.

[–] nonfuinoncuro@lemm.ee 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

lots of people just use a bucket

[–] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This.. this.. confuses me, so much.

What backpacker carries a bucket? And is the bucket a bidet? With water? From where? And why am I picturing a bucket-toilet you dunk your ass in?

[–] nonfuinoncuro@lemm.ee 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 1 points 8 months ago

Ohhhh so not a bidet, but a vessel for storing water to clean with. Very different things, but I learned something new today. Neat.

[–] Funkytom467@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

Or, if you're poor, an alternative is to take a shower. That or a sink as a last resort.

[–] CenturionKing@lemmy.world -5 points 8 months ago

Cold water will shrink your balls 😂