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But it is based on a lack of empathy though. Everything in this thread coming from you is about you, how you are perceived or judged as a parent or how much power you can exert. Authoritarianism with good intentions (I control you because I care) is still authoritarianism.
Even when discussing self-harm, you don't mention the hypothetical kid's safety at all. “I would press charges”, what does that accomplish? that doesn't address any issue or solves any problem, your kid is still suffering so bad that they feel like they need to self-harm, a judge decision can't change that.
Not single lick of empathy there, but posturing and high horse riding. “I dont feel comfortable with the school deciding which major concern to report or not”, feel as uncomfortable as you want but that won't change the fact that schools actually have to do that every single day. For all sorts of reasons. It comes with the territory. That sentiment is just an expression of desire to control. Schools need more nuance and preparation to make those decisions, not less. It's impossible to have any social system where the system agents don't have to constantly decide what to say to whom. It's called being in a society.
I see your point. As I've been thinking about the need for kids to have resources somewhere, the school is a pretty good place for it. They need a safe place.
I don't need to control my kid. I don't do that now. I believe in setting the condition for honesty and growth, like making mistakes, without being crushed for it. Feels like that's working so far.
I would support the ability for them to get counseling on how to deal with parents and how to deal with a world that seems to shit on and oppress small groups of people. I just would want them to get me involved at some point. Maybe there are cases where that's not in the best interests of the young person. That's the argument for giving the school discretion. I see that.
My self harm comment was because of my concern for my kid's safety, that's why I would personally be mad. I wouldn't think that needed spelled out, but I'm guessing you're using its omission to support your judgement.
I disagree with your high horsing assertion. You're allowed that opinion of me, but working through things is easier when you aren't called names. It feels like most of your comments are high horsing from the other side. I'd rather you just ask questions.
No name calling on my part. I was just expressing the public impression that your comments creates. If you take that as an insult, then maybe do some introspection on why you consider other's feedback to be derogatory, and only seem to be comfortable with interrogatories. To give opinions means necessarily subjecting ourselves to other's opinions about our opinions. Why would you be mad that a school determines that the best course of action is to protect the child's privacy and conceal some part of it from you? maybe you are the problem, that's always a possibility, and that's not a personal attack on you as a parent, it's protecting the child from you. Often times that's the only recourse the school has when dealing with abusive and overbearing parents. Like I said, schools need more flexibility and nuance available for their response, not less.