There is a difference between a guy staring into the void, and an older guy checking you out. I've experienced both and I don't understand how people manage to confuse the two.

[–] SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml 30 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Being either self-absorbed, or traumatised?

[–] Shou@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago (2 children)

What? No. Just either stuck in a general thinking mood or think about all the things he'd want to do to you

[–] SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Sorry.....whot?

[–] BigFatNips@sh.itjust.works 3 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I am confusioned 😂

[–] Twelve20two@slrpnk.net 5 points 7 months ago

It's cause your big fat nips are sapping your brain juice

[–] candybrie@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Sturgies was talking about the person confusing the two. Shou was talking about the person staring into the void. Confusion ensues

[–] Yerbouti@lemmy.ml 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

One day, about 10 years ago, a guy pull out a knife to fight me in a subway station because he thought I was staring at him. Also got some nasty comments from women who thought I was looking at them when I didn't even notice their presence. Now I try to look at the floor in public in case I get lost in my mind.

[–] Shou@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

Fuck that's horrible. Yeah. I made eye contact with a guy that lasted too long. We were walking towards each other. He grabbed the back of my head and pushed it down. Wasn't as scary as it sounds. Just disrespectful. I avoid eye contact too. Some people are just evil.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It is in fact really easy to tell the difference, you just hear more about the times people make the mistake because it's not noteworthy when somebody goes "that guy's just staring off into space" and is right. You also likely have a bigger emotional reaction, assuming you're a guy, to a woman mistakenly thinking a guy is staring at her and being wrong than you do the knowledge that women get stared at a lot, so it makes the first seem like it's happening more often.
I've lived on both sides (trans) and can tell you I didn't realize it was this common to get really obviously stared at by older men. And the older they are the more likely they are to do it, which is lucky, because I'm much less afraid of a 70 year old man doing anything to me than a 20-40 year old. I find the only thing I can do in that situation is to avoid looking them directly in the eyes, because they take that as a sign to approach.

[–] Shou@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Am a woman. And sorry to hear about your bad experiences. Guess it comes with the territory huh? Older men sure know how to be creeps. And older women too. Cougars are predators after all.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Agreed. And older women being creeps too needs to be talked about more. Pretransition, in 7th grade, I had a math teacher who tried to flirt with me and it made me horribly uncomfortable, but I could never talk to anybody about it because people would act like that was a good thing and I should feel good for it, and those who acknowledged it was a problem still told me I must have imagined it. I can say one good thing about being a woman is despite encountering creeps way more often, at least I'm allowed to be upset about it now.

[–] Shou@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

That's fucking disgusting. She wasn't just a creep, but a straight up peado.