this post was submitted on 25 May 2024
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As a former sufferer of really intense auditory hallucinations, I strongly relate to what you've said. I had long given up drugs but was still suffering from the voices for ages afterwards. It's hard to get people to understand just how real they felt. And so spiteful, mean and negative. Also hard to get some people to understand that it's strong enough motivation to never go back there and go through that horrifying shit again. The "once a junkie, always a junkie" crowd just don't get it at all.
I completely understand. In the end I had to take a med to make it all go away because I was still getting faint whispers upto 18 months after quitting.
Mine weren't too bad when I was sober. It was when I was fucked that they were nasty.
You couldn't pay me enough to touch that shit again. Not for a million bucks.
As for what people think, I have two thoughts about that:
only people I trust a shitload know about my past
if anyone wants to treat me poorly because of my past actions, they can fuck themselves with a giant spikey cactus.
So few people ever get clean, and have a normal life. 95% of people that talk shit about addicts, were they to be addicted themselves, would not get clean. That's a statistical fact.
So fuck em. They don't know the strength it takes to escape the hell of using. And in all likelihood, they wouldn't be able to.
Let them enjoy their high horse. I know who I am, and what I've achieved. No one can take that away from me.