this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2024
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Fucking called it!!! Sit down for for dinner last night and the mrs goes "what we we doing this weekend?" "not much, why?" "Well, I got a message from (Couple I complained about yesterday) wondering if we.." "nope! heck no we're not doing that. Whatever it is, its a no from me." She stares at me a few seconds "Why?" "We talked about this last weekend babe, we are NOT getting pulled into this shit! the other day was exhausting, i need some space from them"
She goes on to admit the message was very strange and almost like we didn't have a choice in the matter. I pointed out as adults we very much do have a choice. I so saw this coming, I may not have understood it but I was apprehensive enough to bring it up yesterday I must've had a 6th sense.
Yeah avoid that dumpster fire. Life's complex and exhausting enough without taking on other people's BS. Especially if they're in a situation where they could do something about their drama but won't due to reasons.
or worse, they manufacture the bad situation on purpose and the bad situation always makes other people look bad, not themselves
i am so done with that shit
Your Spidey Sense was tingling for sure.
They're also adults, so they need to figure themselves out. Don't burn yourself out with their shenanigans.
I love your comment from yesterday I think, "don't burn yourself out to keep others warm." I'm gonna steal it.
The one that really stuck with me from this whole discussion was "Youโve kind of shot yourself in the foot there, can you please not bleed on my kitchen floor?".
You're definitely doing the right thing by doing your best not to get pulled into the drama.
I've also seen it more dramatically stated as "don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm ".
It comes up a lot on the caregiving Reddit sub, there are way too many people who are manipulated into prioritizing other people's needs above their own.
All good advice are lessons learned in the flames that chill, rather than burn.
It can apply to many differing situations, but the best thing you can do is look after yourself first and foremost. One cannot do anything for anyone else, if one is broken from lack of self-care.
Short answer: Yeah Nah.
Long answer: No thanks, I can't help you at the moment.