Your original point was that that people aren’t responsible for the bad ideas of their party, so lecturing on on how to change people’s minds is disingenuous in this context.

You seem to think the world run on responsibilities. How many people you see in your life take responsibilities for everything they do and say? And I am not saying responsibilities do not matter, but you can't just interpret what I said based on your imaginary value system. I never said people aren't responsible for their ideas and what they support. It just doesn't matter in this conversation. You want it to matter? Then who are you to say "they are responsible"? Who are you to judge the consequences of policies? Who are you to call what exactly does a person believe in simply based on his party affiliation?

But if that same neighbour votes for a party that discriminates against you, while politely waving to you in the morning, you’re saying you shouldn’t hold him responsible because he’s probably a swell guy?

Well you missed the part of talking to your neighbor first. How he act alone doesn't really matter that much. To understand what he believes in you gotta talk to him. Does he hate gays? Or does he just believe in small government and love guns?

If he hate gays, and you tell him you are homosexual, would he start throwing dog shit in your yard, or would he have a painful conversation with you? That's the important part. You didn't really get what I am trying to say.

I said we keep the conversation going, I never said treat everyone like your BFF. You talk, you don't judge before you talk. You don't brand a Republican as a Nazi before you talk to him.

“Bill, we’ve been neighbours for 10 years and I enjoy having you around for BBQ in the summer months, but the fact that you support the party that wants to see my way of life restricted in this way is really disappointing and upsets me” and I absolutely would not be OK if Bill argued that he’s not responsible for voting directly against my interests.

I am honestly not sure what are we arguing about. If you are fine with talking to your neighbor in a frank manner, what do you disagree with me on? Like, how do you know Bill is going to argue that way? How about he tells you "yeh I don't really like that shit either but I don't like how the liberals are doing things yada yada"? Wouldn't you think if you talk long enough the latter response is more likely and probably a more interesting discussion to have?