Asklemmy

Tighten the nuts on your bike every so often pal.

TELL YOUR MOM TO INVEST IN APPLE SHE'LL MAKE BANK

You're gonna be the happiest you've ever been, but it's going take another 30 years and a failed marriage to get there. Hang tough - it's worth it!

You think being a Jehovah's Witness is bad? Pro tip, move in with dad but don't be his friend. Don't fall for any kind of "modeling" scam he pulls on you.

1. you're right about all the contradictions in the Bible
2. drop everything and immediately begin learning Java and Python. if you get good enough you can skip college entirely and save years of emotional hell
3. convince mom to let you quit the instruments you hate playing and do computer extracurriculars instead
4. buy bitcoin sell in Nov '21 lol (or just invent it)
5. learn Mandarin Chinese, not Japanese. also maybe chill w/ the weeb shit
6. move to NYC as soon as you can and DO NOT LEAVE even if there's a scary pandemic because you won't be able to afford to move back and you'll miss it real bad :(
7. BUY AN EARTHBOUND CARTRIDGE BEFORE THEY BECOME UNOBTAINABLY EXPENSIVE 😭

Eh forget about that man. Despite sharing his name, he’s not even your real biological father. Family is about more than genetics.

Get your thyroid checked out. Turns out major depressive disorder can be brought on by hypothyroidism. Who knew?

Theres a few:

• yeah, don't buy PC parts and wow gold with those bitcoins you will mine in 2011...

• watch out for the fallen tree at the bottom of the hill on the bike path, your breaks don't work very well.

• some older kid will decide to bully you, but dont let it bother you so much. Loser ends up unaliving himself via drunk driving into a wall later on.

• oh also don't take your ps1 and gamecube collection to EB games for trade in, you only get 3 xbox 360 games out of the deal and will regret it.

The things she says will confuse and frustrate you. She will pretend to love and care for you. She will abuse you. She will hurt you. She will threaten you and manipulate you. She will try to make you believe it's your fault. She will make you question whether you really experienced the things that happened to you. She will lean on you. She will expect and even demand things of you that no mother should ask of their child.

Go and build a network of support. Look at how other kids behave with their families. Yours is not normal or healthy. You are not a checked box on somebody's list. You are not a trophy to be paraded around. You are not her friend or her therapist. You are not a dog to be whipped into obedience. You are your own person. She will never give you the stability you need or the love you deserve.

There will be times that you will not feel safe. You will get out. You'll find friends who will shelter you, couches to sleep on. They see your pain. They understand. It will be okay. It does get better. I love you, and you will learn to love yourself.

And hey, it's not all doom and gloom, yeah? The games are so fucking good. Like there's a lot of trash but there's story and writing in some of these that's so profound and it brings you so much joy. I know it'll be hard to believe at times, but it's worth sticking around.

You will miss your family, lose your friends, and your home will be taken from you.

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT sell that mini NES. You. Will. Regret. It.

Dude, run.

Stay away from weed and you'll get to live your dream.

When you finish college - keep making/playing/studying music. Play more rugby - when you're too old to play you'll wish you had. Don't sell your mandolin or your acoustic guitar. You'll regret them both in later years. Buy bitcoin.

In a few years there will be something called Bitcoins, buy them, like a lot. Double what you think of and sell them 2021.

God isn't real

Buy Bitcoin ASAP and have a prepping plan

Your family doesn't care for you

Punch that fucker Liam right in his smug face, he's a little bitch and is all talk, and you miss the chance once he goes to jail.

Keep going with your Euphonium practice, or you'll forget it all and you're really good at it.

Don't be scared to ask for stuff you need, you aren't imposing on anyone and nobody is going to hate you for it.

Nah, you're good.

It gets better. Seriously. You will find your people and be happy. It's just gonna take about seven or eight more years. I promise, life is worth living and you're gonna do great.

Hold on for just a couple more years. I know it will seem like an eternity, and I know the damage that has been done. But you will be moving to a much better place.

Your parents getting divorced and you should tell your parents to get you diagnosed for autism. Especially since we used to be mute when we were younger and we were also in special ed and rode the short bus.

Little me, you haven't got the time to hear it

I'd tell my 10-year old self that 9/11 jokes will be a thing and "America deserved 9/11".

tell the child psychiatrist that you are trans.

don't go to san antonio you will get into a knife fight and the cops will be called

don't start doing sex work the money isn't worth it

"You are not responsible; you were loved and wanted. Don't lower your head. Dare to speak your mind. Don't be afraid to tell others what you go through. You are going to be a bigger person than you expect."

carry on, life is great. Endure and you will be happy. It suck right now but you will spend way more time happy than sad.

Your life isn't going to be "normal" and it's not your fault. You are going to be different and it's not because you are better or worse. just different. Just do your best and that's all anyone can want from you.

You are beautiful.

Please don't let your dad marry that cunt who'll become your absolute doom in the future. She may seem nice and warm but it's a fucking facade. She's a fucking cunt and they will destroy every inch of happiness you have.

Programming is really not as hard as it looks to start, just don't start with C++ for the love of god lmao

Next year will be the hardest year you've ever had, don't let it turn you bitter and cynical, people are cruel because they are struggling, hurt, and broken, and turn that around to others. Try to keep your heart open

There will be a time when manipulative charisma will feel strangely like love and home. Don’t listen, learn what real love feels like.

Get a family member to invest big money in AMD and Tesla.

Keep feelings to yourself and be cautious of ladies.

Don't stop Martial Arts training!