this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2024
557 points (99.1% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26922 readers
3831 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 50 points 4 months ago

The fact the sewer pipe has to logically be routed out the back end is sending me

[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 47 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Ask no questions regarding the floor mirror

[–] MHanak@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

Why is there a mirror on the floor???

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

and why doesn't it reflect the objects above it?

huh.

[–] Winco@lemmy.sdf.org 33 points 4 months ago (6 children)

The toilet paper looks to be a bit of a reach. Not too far, but just far enough to be annoying.

[–] Dg2445@lemm.ee 29 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Need to add a unicorn horn so you have a place to hang the tp.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Also a way to dislodge stubborn poo-poos.

[–] BlueLineBae@midwest.social 6 points 4 months ago

Look at this guy. He doesn't know about the 3 seashells!!!

[–] eezeebee@lemmy.ca 16 points 4 months ago

I imagine that, when your toilet looks like this, reaching the toilet paper is the restroom attendant's job.

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Get one of those grabby claw things, painted to resemble a polo club

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Nah just get the horse to hand it to you

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 18 points 4 months ago

I sent this post to my sister and she had concerns about the amount of clothing one would have to remove in order to shit on this thing. I suggested running sidesaddle and now she's not talking to me

[–] bmsok@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

Onward to the paper, my noble steed!

[–] nieceandtows@programming.dev 1 points 4 months ago

That's why you bring your sword with you.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

that's what squires are for.

[–] goosehorse@lemmy.world 21 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Sure, but why's the coke mirror on the floor??

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 9 points 4 months ago

Yeah this needs a little shelf behind the horse's head.

[–] thenextguy@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago
[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Not suitable for when you've got those real ass clenching moments where you internal spinchter has given up and the external one is the only one holding the line while everything else says "push".

You lift one leg over to mount this beast and suddenly you've got to get the Windex to clean the floor mirror.

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 6 points 4 months ago

That's when you gotta sidesaddle

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Leaning on the horse when you got diarrhoea 😫

[–] thal3s@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 months ago

Wrapping both arms around its neck and holding on for dear life.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

take me home shadowfax

[–] The_Eminent_Bon@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Feeling fancy?

[–] Stern@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 4 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Nah you can still pee into this one from the side. You just have to arc it

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

I'll just pee into my horse from the side.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Stand in front and do the bullet curving like in Wanted.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 2 points 4 months ago

I'd be afraid I'd pee up the horse's nostril

[–] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Finally you can post while you shit while you shitpost.

[–] hedgehogging_the_bed@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

Nonsense, posting on that toilet without styrups would be damn near impossible.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 4 points 4 months ago

I bet this is what the royal family use

[–] Zozano@lemy.lol 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

Time to trade in my SquattyPotty for a TrottyPotty.

But seriously, get yourself a toilet stool, it's a life changing purchase.

[–] snake@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

Exactly, I thought this was only missing stirrups!

[–] boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I wasn't as impressed as I thought I would be with it

[–] Zozano@lemy.lol 1 points 4 months ago (2 children)

How long have you been using it, and have you occasionally used toilets without a step since starting?

I've been using mine for about four years now, and I think it's insane that most people don't even know about the benefits of squatting posture.

[–] Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Can confirm. I didn't notice how much it helped until pooping while traveling without it. Now I take my folding stool with me.

[–] qwertilliopasd@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

folding stool

I thought that only happened to cats

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

If you've got lots of fiber in your diet, it won't really matter to ya. Kapow! Out it comes.

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 months ago

One large lump sum

[–] jenny_ball@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

this one was literal

[–] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago
[–] cheddar@programming.dev 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Imagine cleaning this though, that looks like a lot of work.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

Imagine

it's imaginary mate.

AI garbage. No one is going to wall-float a carousel horse, if they did, they wouldn't put a mirror under it, if they did, the mirror would REFLECT THE BOTTOM OF THE HORSE, and failing all that, if someone was wacky and physics defying enough to ignore all that, THEY WOULDN'T MOUNT THE TOILET PAPER 3' AWAY.

[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

Do not buy saddles from this person.

[–] Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 months ago

Don't get off the carousel until you make your drop

load more comments
view more: next ›