Asklemmy

I say it often in my day to day life. I don't use it much on Lemmy because I rarely ask anyone to do anything on here

There's rarely a use for it online. It's used to make a request, and a lot of online discourse is making statements.

Irl, it's a lot more common

We say it out loud a lot. People seem to remember to be polite when not anonymous.

"Please" is used more in verbal or formal communication in English. I wouldn't typically use it when writing a comment here as online comment sections are considered informal written communication. But I would always say it if I was asking a food service worker for something.

"Please" is short for "if it pleases you" or "if you please". It's used to turn a command into a request. It's probably not used on Lemmy, etc. because we're not requesting things of each other a lot.

People say it in person a lot. Another factor might be that some people view it coming across as either non genuine or passive aggressive in written form.

Online discourse tends not to be the kind of place (in the English-speaking world) where "please" is the appropriate response.

I rarely use 'seldom'

And you're sure your criteria includes Canadians?

I only use it in writing when making direct requests. I say it quite often.

where I live using “please” (मेहरबानी) is used often.

Bro where tf are you living 😂

I'm Indian too and have never come across anyone unironically using that word in daily conversations

I'm fanatical about saying please and thank you, and it drives me batty that others don't. Someone offers you a snack, say no thank you, don't say "no I don't like those" like a goddamned toddler.

Online? No. It comes off as snarky.

In real life, and emails? All the time. Please and thank you.

In Australia in the aboriginal culture I was raised in, there is no word for please. We never used it growing up

We have a ward for thank you mah,

We say thank you but if you have something and can give it and someone asks you are obliged to provide.

In today's world this causes many problems with money etc though.

They do/don't?

Gonna need a source for this claim.

This is very nuanced and could be difficult to understand, but the word please can have a negative context between people that are related, like with family, or when codependent such as housemates or coworkers. The word please can have a negative emphasis like nagging. As an example, one might say:

• Please take out the trash.
• Take out the trash! Please!
• PLEASE! TAKE, OUT, THE TRASH!

These are common forms of natural speech where the word please does not have the same meaning exactly. In the latter two examples, the word please is like a subtle way of saying, 'just do what I ask without further arguing.

The language and formalities greatly depend on where you live, the local culture, and the population density in that region. In rural parts of the USA, formalities are common, but often are very hallow in deeper meaning. For instance, in the Deep Southeastern USA, like Alabama, there is a common phrase 'bless your heart.' This phrase actually means, "I disagree and think that you are a fool," but the meaning is like an unspoken truth and an inside joke at the same time. If you confront the phrase directly, the person will tell you they only meant the phrase positively, and they will make you look and feel like a fool for assuming it was said negatively. If you fail to realize the true meaning of the phrase, everyone that does know the meaning will see you as a fool. If you recognize the true nature of the statement, you are forced to rephrase your argument or agree to disagree.

The word please is most common in these rural cultures along with words like sir and ma'am. This language culture has a strong association with the conservative Right, religious extremism, deep prejudice, and toxic stupidity in the USA. That subculture association seems to impact the use of such linguistic formalities elsewhere in the country.

The word please still has a basic meaning of kindness among strangers or coworkers, but its formal use as a normative standard has a strong association with the worst of our subcultures in the USA. The second I hear someone talking like that, I immediately distrust them like seeing a person walk into a bank wearing a trenchcoat and a ski mask.

Please let me know, how you know, they are westerners?

Not a westerner but after moving to Australia, took me a while to get used to using please. It's not common where I'm from lol

I just checked, and I used “please” about 30 times in the last year on lemmy.ml. I live in Burgerland.

Rusty on my reading of devanagari-- is that pronounced like "meharbaanii"?

It's funny, I was ALWAYS taught to say please growing up, but as an adult I only hear it in more formal settings, or from older folks. I think people realized that tone and body language also show that you're trying to be pleasant and not bossy, and dropped the habit of saying it.

I'm sure it's regional, though, and I'm only speaking for one small chunk of the US.

At a restaurant, or with people you don't know it is common to use please and thankyou, less common with family, but still done. But online writing, please and thankyou seems uncommon

I use it constantly in the real world. Not on Lemmy. But I consider this to be pretty informal.

I also deliberately say "I beg your pardon," instead of "Excuse me." The former is a request. The latter is mostly a demand, at least in the USA the way people behave.

I write and speak the word please quite a lot. In all of my emails when requesting things for work or pleasure I use it. I was raised in the US South and I think it's very common practice here to teach kids in such a way. My own kids are being taught the same. I can't obviously speak for the rest of Western society though.

it's not so seldom in my experience.

Much more likely they're saying 'thanks in advance' in the original post or otherwise they reply with gratitude for useful replies and answers.

If they don't, then yes, they're probably immature, a 14 year old or just a twat.

sudo make me a sandwich…please

Does it really mean anything? If you're a respectable person isn't it implied? Thank you as well. People should be able to see the thankfulness... Too many assholes fucked up use of please and thank you trying to look good when they aren't being good. Now sometimes I see it as a sign someone's trying to take advantage or hide their true self.

I say it in newer company but I don't know if I say it to often to people I know.

I'd like to know where you are expecting to read "please" on Lemmy or Mastodon where it seems not to be commonly used.

Congrats.

Because the boomers forced us to say it or we got hit and we are through appeasing them.