"I'm really great at reading people/spotting BS/etc." It seems like almost invariably this is said by people who are quick to make assumptions about people and as a result, are terrible at figuring out what someone is actually thinking.
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“Cheer up, it may never happen”
I’m sorry but if I’m not in a good mood or I’m sad it’s because something has happened to make me feel like it.
"Let's agree to disagree".
No, you asshole, we are getting to the bottom of this: you expose your reasoning for your position and I will do the same and this ends when reason doesn't support anymore one of the 2 sides.
The people who loudly proclaim that they "don't care what anybody else thinks!" almost always care a great deal what other people think. The ones who truly don't seldom announce it.
The reality is usually that whatever doesn't kill you, maims you for life.
"... tells you everything you need to know" if you have all of my same prejudices.
"Autistic people lack empathy"
Wierd how the fact that a group of people don't see the world as you do makes then somehow inferior and deficient, huh?
"[Thing] is a game changer!"
Almost always used in the context of brand-speak/commercial marketing. What's the game, guys? Corporate propaganda? Cause no, using an app to book a handyman that pays to be advertised on your service, or buying microplastic encapsulated detergent is not a goddamn "game changer" for anyone, besides the shareholders.
"Trust me."
Most of the time those two words can be correctly replaced with "I believe you to be an irrational eager to swallow any crap smeared on its filthy snout."
(People who deserve your trust typically don't evoke it.)