I feel the exact same way. I just made my own instance and divide up my content. Each sub community is like a different interest of mine.
I reset it though and pauses federation due to the prior fiasco regarding the malicious images/users.
But, I really love the idea of having a personal Lemmy and in my previous run it felt like it was still gathering connections authentically. Although bigger instances won’t necessarily federate, but that’s not that necessary