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The original was posted on /r/nosleep by /u/ThisWeekend9936 on 2024-09-20 18:47:50+00:00.
My buddy Josh always maintained that hell is full of ads.
He hated ads with an absolute passion, regarding them as THE main symptom of everything that's wrong with the modern world. Fucking peak capitalism, making the elite ever richer while people like himself slaved in a series of dead-end jobs. Not that he'd really helped his own cause too much when he'd dropped out of school - I mean he was really quite bright and intelligent and all, but just generally unmotivated and depressed or something. He came from a broken home, struggled with substance abuse, had had a few run-ins with the law etc. In fact, not to put too fine a point on it, he was kind of a living cliche.
And he also loved music. He was pretty good at guitar and stuff but again not driven enough to try and perfect his art or form a band, or anything like that. But he listened to music all the time. it was more of a private refuge for him than anything. So he had all those playlists that seemingly went on for ever, on You Tube, mainly. In fact, exclusively - he couldn't be bothered with Spotify and shit like that. You Tube had it all as far as he was concerned. In spite of its millions upon millions of ads. He shared those playlists regularly with me, because we both liked the same music. He'd fallen out with heaps of other people over the years because of their changing musical tastes, but he found in me a steadfast, loyal sort of music fan. For that reason alone, he stuck to me like a burr. And I have to say I did like him too, he wasn't a bad sort overall.
And, yet, you know, in spite of his overwhelming love of music and undying hatred for ads he wouldn't use an adblocker or youtube premium or take any steps at all to counteract them. And it wouldn't've been too difficult to put some of his hard earned money towards Youtube Premium, along with his other indulgences. He was kind of contradictory like that. Maybe he just wanted something else to complain about. In any case, far as I knew, he went on suffering those vile, soulsucking ads interrupting his music. His playlists.
Until one day.
We would meet up once a week at least, at our local, dreary bar. Just the two of us.
On our last meeting, he seemed preoccupied.
'I've come to a decision, Zach,' he announced finally, pushing away his glass without having even tried to taste what was in it. 'An important decision'.
His dark eyes fixed on me and I waited for the big reveal. Had he finally decided to clean himself up, or make a proper go of it with Stacey, the stunning blonde whom he'd met at that party a couple weeks ago, or make up with his estranged family (what remained of it), or what.
'I've decided to take out Youtube Premium.'
I was quite staggered by this. 'What?'
'Yea. I've finally decided. I can't let those fucking ads spoil everything. Not anymore.' He lowered his voice. 'I can't risk it.'
That seemed rather an odd thing to say. He must've seen my astonishment, but he just smiled, cryptically.
I feel better now I've finally decided,' he declared.
'Well, that's good I guess? I'm just surprised you didn't decide to do it long before this, dude.'
He looked at me thoughtfully. 'Yeah. So am I.'
I didn't see him for days after that, which wasn't unusual, actually. He kept on sending me playlists as usual. They seemed to be getting more and more extravagant, too. And then he kept on asking me which one he thought was best. He had never done that before. He was really quite insistent about it, and all of this, combined with the oddness of his manner on our last meeting, made me increasingly uneasy.
A week after our last meeting, he texted to say he couldn't make it this time. But he didn't fail to send me another playlist, with a message. This is it Zach. Thanks for all your help.
He never used my name in messages like that, normally, and this made me even more worried. I tried texting back, calling, and I would've gone around to his apartment, if my goddam boss hadn't dumped an extra workload on me for the whole weekend. But all the time I was getting increasingly concerned about Josh.
But finally, on the Sunday evening, I got word about him.
He'd killed himself - apparently only hours after after sending me that final playlist. In his apartment, with some dubious substance in his system and a deep, vertical gash in one wrist.
I'd be lying if I said I was surprised to hear this. Shocked and grieved, yes, but not really surprised. He'd never really talked about that stuff but I had never found it too hard to imagine him checking out on his own terms. But when I learned more details about the whole sad case I also felt something very like horror.
There had been a youtube playlist open on his phone, which was found right beside his body.
That last playlist he'd shared with me.
Music to commit suicide to. To accompany you into the great beyond. Hell, perhaps. Where ads played forever, according to his conception.
I pushed away that blackly comic thought, but then I felt chills all over my body.
That was why he'd taken out Youtube Premium at the last.
I remembered the words he'd used, that had struck me as so odd at the time. 'I can't risk it.'
He couldn't risk some fucked-up ad interrupting the climactic moment, his ride into eternity.
This was some messed up shit. Although another way of looking at it was he'd died doing something he'd loved but it was kinda hard to do that.
I just felt cold, endlessly cold.
And I also knew it wasn't over.
Update.
I've been feeling very much out of sorts all day. Kind of drowsy, and all. And my wrist is aching - my left wrist. I can't remember having sprained it or anything though.
And I've just received a link to a playlist.
From Josh's phone. With a message.
You gotta listen to this Zach. For old times' sake. We can listen together, just as we used to.
But Josh is dead, right?
I'm feeling worse all the time, I can't think straight.
I've got an absolute fucker of a headache, and my wrist is hurting worse than ever.
Maybe I'll listen to some music to make me feel better.