Microblog Memes

And this is the conflict the Orks were created to fight in. The galaxy was once home to a species now known only as the Old Ones. They controlled a little over half the galaxy. The rest belonged to an empire called the Necrontyr. The Necrontyr came from a planet with horrible radiation, and they had evolved to live short lives to compensate for their inevitable death due to super cancer. The Old Ones were masters of genetic engineering, and the Necrontyr pleaded with them to share the secret of long life. But the Old Ones refused. In their envy, the Necrontyr declared war on the Old Ones, and sought to eradicate them. This galaxy-spanning conflict was called the War In Heaven. The Old Ones created the Krorks, perfect super soldiers programmed with instinctual knowledge of weaponsmithing and arcane might, to fight as footsoldiers. A fungal infection that could bloom from a single spore into a ready-made army, infinitely loyal and eternally bloodthirsty.

The Necrontyr couldn't stand up to the might of the Krorks, the Eldar, and the Old Ones' other armies. So they struck a deal with the gods of their kind, stellar parasites called the C'tan, or Star Gods. The C'tan created immortal bodies of living steel for the Necrontyr to inhabit. Ageless and indestructible. The peasant class were furnished with artificial brains powerful enough to understand only simple orders to destroy. The opulent rulers were allowed to keep their memories and personalities, to live eternally. However, they were deceived, for in the bargain, the Necrontyr lost their souls. In Warhammer, the soul is a real thing. It is the connection between a person's mind in the material plane, and the Realm of Souls. Without it, one is cursed to live a half life. Never to truly change or grow. The Necrons, for that is what they were now called, had become forever stagnant. Their souls consumed by the C'tan. In vengeance, the Necrons slew their own gods. Fractured their divine essence into shards and imprisoned the shards in war engines that drained their infinite power for use in battle. And then they finished off the Old Ones. The galaxy was left devastated and essentially barren after the war. So the Necrons went beneath the surface of their billions of worlds and slept, waiting for a galaxy worth ruling to re-grow. While the Krorks devolved into Orks from lack of fighting, and the Eldar became the dominant force in the galaxy.

Just to warn you there is a lot of lore and it's changed and been retconned over the last 40 years. That leads to some odd stuff like Leman Russ having a tank named after him.

It's also had some major tone shifts from silly (Inquisitor Obiwan Sherlock Cluseau ) to so Grim Dark it becomes Grim Derp. It's in a sort of midpoint now.

So look into what you find interesting and if you don't like it switch sources or topic. Expect things to be contradictory depending on when it was written.

Here is a good but silly video background to the origin of the orks. It's still mostly accurate. In 30k the Emperor got hurt and was put on a life support chair. He's been there for 10k years unable to communicate.

Premise of this series is they install a text to speech device and now big E can communicate. So they update him on the state of the Imperium and he fills in all the missing history. It's a fan video and noncannon but lore accurate for when it was made.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FyeoBm5QFnA

If you want a more serious tone for your lore dump try luetin09 or oculus imperialis. They are to dry for me but pretty good content.

Also WAAGH is the ork war cry and WAAGH energy is the reality bending field that makes the orks group think real. So red things go faster because red is the fastest color.

"WAAAAAAAAAGGH!" is what the 10-foot monster yells while charging at you.

WAAGH! is what Orks like to scream while they're fighting. It also means an army of Orks (A WAAGH!, lead by a WAAGH leader), or the spiritual energy of a WAAGH!

https://cdn.preterhuman.net/texts/gaming_and_diversion/Warhammer_40K_Collection/Warhammer%2040k%20-%20Codex%20-%20Orks.pdf

https://github.com/Overcharged-Plasma/warhammer-pdfs/blob/main/tenth-edition/formatted-pdfs/orks.pdf

Games Workshop releases a Codex for each faction in the game, which has the lore for that faction and the rules needed to play them. There's a different set of codices for each edition of the game, and we're currently on 10th edition, so there are 10 Orks codices. The more recent ones have the more up to date lore, but are more annoying to pirate. And not all the lore is in the codices. The codices are more an introduction to that faction's lore. The deep stuff is in the novels. Drag doesn't know which novels have Orks in them, most of the novels are about the Imperium (humans).

If you want to learn about the other factions in the game, like the humans, you could do worse than watching Astartes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7hgjuFfn3A

It’s also a great way to sign away all your money too!

War with a footballer hooligan Cockney accent

I got started by reading all the books by Dan Abnett. Eisenhorn is amazing (though there are no Orks, sadly).

So basically they have ... something like a collective dunning kruger effect which manifests as an abnormally high 'dumb luck' stat or modifier?

You should definitely try shorting Tesla, nobody has ever lost money doing that.