this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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I am supportive of you being Canadian

top 42 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.world 108 points 2 months ago (6 children)

"What's your gender?"

"Canadian."

"No, who do you like?"

"Donuts."

"No no, what's in your pants?"

"Polite manners."

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 47 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

"No, no, I'm talking about your genitals."

"Oh, you mean Tim Horton's?"

[–] JimVanDeventer@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Fun fact: timbits were named so in honour of his fatal drunk driving car accident.

[–] Sparky@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"what's in your pants?"

"a party you're not invited to"

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

"a hockey knife"

[–] andshit@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago

Doughnuts**

[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As a Canadian, I know you are American from your spelling of doughnuts.

[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Surprise, I'm both!

[–] phx@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 months ago
[–] GrymEdm@lemmy.world 50 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

We are sorry to hear you are disappointed with the Canadian gender identity. Please hold if you wish to express your concerns to one of our agents. Alternatively, courses on the benefits and challenges of being Canadian and what it means to be hockeysexual are available in English and French. Completion of the course grants access to free-but-slow healthcare and a $25 Tim Hortons gift card.

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Please hold if you wish to express your disappointment to one of our agents.

I just want to say replacing fig leaves with maple leaves is rough because it leaves a bunch of sticky on your junk.

[–] SurfinBird@lemmy.ca 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Maple syrup on your junk is a proud Canadian Thanksgiving tradition.

[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

I was sick and family was busy. So I missed thanksgiving this year.

[–] rbesfe@lemmy.ca 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

pour le service en français, appuyez sur le 2

[–] raynethackery@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Why isn't the first option?

[–] muyessir@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

Huge missed opportunity: could have been God made Adam and Eve, not Maple and Leaf

[–] connaisseur@lemmy.ca 14 points 2 months ago
[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 months ago

There is no such thing as 'Canadian', it's just a phase!

[–] Moose@moose.best 12 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Pretty sure he did say Adam and Moose.

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hey, Adam; watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat!

[–] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I think he said moose and squirrel!

[–] letsgo@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Naah, Moose came later, he was the chap who came down from a mountain with a couple of iPads, then drove out of the desert in a Triumph, or something like that.

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The Book of Mormon is a wild ride.

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 months ago

No spoilers please!

[–] raynethackery@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Wasn't she on YCDTOTV?

[–] militaryintelligence@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My pronouns are Canadian/Eh

[–] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 10 points 2 months ago

LGBTQIAC

Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Queer Intersex Asexual Canadian

[–] monsterpiece42@reddthat.com 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm guessing this is not a required demographic question in Canada.

[–] micka190@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Might be a case where Canadian applicants submit another form that has the relevant information in a different format too.

[–] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

I called out a form and one of the options was for diet. The choices were:

Omnivore, Vegetarian, Vogon.

[–] Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

those scintillating, jeweled, scuttling crabs are good though.

[–] watersnipje@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Just don’t allow them to recite poetry at you

[–] 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com 7 points 2 months ago

One assumes it's either customary or law not to ask if it's not relevant.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Is this Windows95?

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Our country reeks of trees / our Yaks are really large

[–] not_woody_shaw@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

And they smell like rotting beefcarcasses.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Probably just a cut and paste error, still funny.