this post was submitted on 07 Nov 2024
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top 36 comments
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[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 75 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 58 points 2 weeks ago

When you went back in time to prevent Hitler's entry into art school so that you wouldn't have to analyse his overrated aquarrells in art class anymore.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm trying to find who they are talking about but coming up empty on Hans Duchtelstein

[–] thirteene@lemmy.world 25 points 2 weeks ago

The joke is that a person named Hans Duchtelstein was the previous timelines "Hitler" and after being successful Hitler just stepped in because fate is inevitable.

Reverse: we time travel and kill Hitler, come to the present and Hans Duchtelstein takes Hitlers place but does the exact same thing.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Fun fact: Hitler's father was called Alois Schicklgruber until he was 40.
A pretty convoluted and sketchy turn of events surrounding a small inheritance lead to him being forced to change his last name to Hitler, 10 years before his son Adolf was born.
It's debatable whether Germans would have been as eager to shout "Heil Schicklgruber".

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

They would opt to "Heil Führer" or something. There are other ways to refer to someone than their given name but it's a fun fact indeed, thanks for sharing!

[–] SomethingBurger@jlai.lu 4 points 2 weeks ago

He could have changed his name, just like Iossif Vissarionovitch Djougachvili.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 52 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Two so far.

Remember, they have discovered 42 plots against Hitler.

And they didn't have nearly as sophisticated means of communication that time.

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Two so far that we know about. The Secret Service doesn't report on attempts that don't make the news because it inspires copycats.

[–] jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

cough cough news media

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 weeks ago

It's less about the means of communication now as it is an absolute state of surveillance to act upon before things are even in motion.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 41 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I've long ascribed to the theory that, if time travel is ever invented, no one kills Hitler because WWII was inevitable and Hitler actually bungled a lot of key decisions. I'm praying Trump is the same. Maybe this is the most painless purging of nationalist sentiment across the timelines.

[–] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

The only way to really prevent World War II is to prevent World War I and to do that we would need to prevent the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, and our own timeline made it pretty clear that he was destined to die that day.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 12 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The assassination of Franz Ferdinand feels like there will be two competing organisations with access to time travel.
One was trying to prevent the assassination while the other was making sure it happened.

And here I immediately thought if one were trying to assassinate him, the other was trying to seduce him. Did you save him? Unfortunately no, he died of a heart attack. Apparently ED medicine had greater effects on people in that time period

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 2 points 1 week ago

It's just time travellers from original timeline that tried to prevent it, and time travellers from the fucked up resulting timeline that returned to fix everything back to at least what it was

[–] random_character_a@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Changing timeline with useful morons. Not a bad idea.

So, 3rd world war will start and Russia will launch nukes. Nato will fuck up their response, because of the orange freek. Most Russian nukes either fail to fly, fail to detonate or the yeald is garbage, because corruption and stolen maintenance funds. Earth will only be partially ruined. Russia will declare victory and soon collapse due to internal conflicts, arguments about the new world order and related assassinations. Something better will eventually rise from the mess.

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

He must have sent the cheapest assassins he could find lmao

[–] BigBenis@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

What do you expect in this economy? Groceries aren't the only things being hit by inflation.

[–] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

Not exactly T-800s in the future is there?

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Third Reich's the charm.

[–] franklin@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Wait there was another one?

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Kind of. Ex supporter traveled from Hawaii and was seen on the golf course waiting on a later hole with his rifle. They shot at him, and missed, then politely arrested him from what it seemed like on the news at the time. The one you knew about I assumed was the kid who just wanted to shoot any candidate he could? I assume he wanted to show his markmenship club from school he was a good shot. Fn nailed his shot at prison

[–] itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The kid at the rally got killed, no?

[–] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 5 points 2 weeks ago

Guess he missed the shot at prison too then.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world -2 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

time travelling doesnt exist. travelling across multiple universes would make it so that anything you did in a unverse you didnt originate in would have no effect on your own

[–] PigStyle@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Based on first hand experience?

[–] bootloop@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Wouldn't it change everything from the perspective of the time/universe traveller though?

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world -3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

nope. stepping out of your universe/timeline to the other only affects that other. course, the smount of time spent outside of your space is moving at its default speed so time in your world will have passed while you were out but none of your actions outside would change anything on your side

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Reverse time travel isn't possible, so stop quoting a specific model used in fiction. The rules can be whatever you want because it's just a joke.

[–] todd_bonzalez@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

"Time Travel doesn't exist"

*Immediately lectures the room on the mechanics of Time Travel as if it were a real thing with concrete rules*

Source: 📺

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

What watching only capeshit kino does to your brain

[–] IntergalacticTurtleFucker@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

time travelling doesnt exist

this is true according to our current (incomplete) observation of the universe, and even then, some theories allow for the possibility of time travel.

travelling across multiple universes would make it so that anything you did in a unverse you didnt originate in would have no effect on your own

What you are referring to is called the Many Worlds theory. The key term here, is "theory". It is not necessarily the reality, only one of the POSSIBLE interpretations that allows for "time travel". For all we know, Doctor Who has the correct idea of the universe and the Time Lords are there to ensure that time paradoxes never happen.

Lastly, and most importantly, the above post is A FUCKING JOKE.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

You must be fun at parties.