Hey they're federation approved
this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2024
330 points (97.4% liked)
The Onion
4559 readers
916 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Here are some of the most well-known Ferengi Rules of Acquisition:
Rule 1: Once you have their money, never give it back.
Rule 3: Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
Rule 6: Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
Rule 7: Keep your ears open.
Rule 9: Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
Rule 16: A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along.
Rule 17: A contract is a contract is a contract... but only between Ferengi.
Rule 21: Never place friendship above profit.
Rule 45: Expand or die.
Rule 59: A smart Ferengi can hear profit in the wind.
Rule 62: The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
Rule 74: Knowledge equals profit.
Rule 85: A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
Rule 94: Females and finances don't mix.
Rule 98: Every man has his price.
Rule 102: A Ferengi with no latinum is no Ferengi at all.
Rule 162: Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
Rule 208: Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
So this is another example of The Onion being way too close to the truth
It’s newsthump.
Treat your employees like family, exploit them.
Please don't give him any more incredibly stupid ideas. You know how much he loves incredibly stupid ideas...
At least the Ferengi won't consider nuking their own planet.
Not for at least 10,000 bars of gold-pressed latinum. 8000, final price.
Good god Ferengi weren't getting woke... oh...