No Stupid Questions

Well, my last name isn't my mom's last name, it's my dad's, and her last name was her dad's, then her husband's. So why do I care, I don't get a matrilineal name anyway.

I hyphenated, because we both had kids when we got married, and it made it easier to deal with the school stuff for my stepkids.

Otherwise, I really just don't care because my family name is my dad's name and it was only my mom's name because she changed hers to his. Not that I didn't care about my dad, was closer to him than my mom. I just mean I don't feel like it means anything.

ETA: as the OP says, though - I really, truly don't understand it when a lady has a cool last name and the man an awful one and they still use his. I used to work at a payroll place and saw this happen over and over, someone would be calling up for us to change their last name from, say, Valiant or DeLeon to Assing, or Fuckler or something . Really, why wouldn't he be the one happy to change in that scenario?

My husband and I were not married when our kids were born. I wanted to have the same name as my kids So I gave them my maiden name. I never really liked that name and I wasn't particularly close to my dad, so when my husband and I got married, we all changed our names to his.

At least for my ex-fiancée it was about the link between husband and wife, plus tradition. It was basically "I'm married, you see?". Just like a ring.

(We talked a fair bit about this stuff, as back then I was planning to add my maternal surname to my legal name. She was OK taking either surname.)

My wife didn't and years down the line she says she wish she had. We have to go through more with medical things and such to show we are related and it was like a simple checkbox for her to do it when we got married but to do it now is a major pain in the ass.

This isn’t a thing in India unless there is a ‘value’ in the surname.

Because everyone knows who the mother is through birth and following months/years if they're lucky, and the only connection a father has with his children is a last name.

It's quite reasonable that mums want the same surname as their children so ..

The trouble with that is that between twenty and thirty percent of children, depending on source, call the wrong person 'dad'.

You're seriously wondering why women would want to take Hardcock? Buddy, I hate to be the one one to have to tell you this, I even hate to even type it, but women LOVE Hardcock. It's a fun name. It's fun to say. What woman wouldn't want Hardcock coming out of their mouth? Plus you get to attend the family gatherings on holidays and family reunions. Just a woman, surrounded by Hardcocks. Hardcocks as far as the eye can see!

.........why is everybody giggling?

I have a coworker whose maiden name is Dykes. She was very happy to change.

To all the people here arguing that it's easier to have a family name, especially with children: It's also possible that the husband takes the wife's name. But from anecdotal evidence in my acquaintance, most men are very opposed to this idea. So if the woman wants a family name she has to change her name or have endless fights about it. That's why most women I know did it.

I'm a fan of the hyphen strategy. I really don't wanna change my last name just cause I fell in love. But hyphenation sounds like a good compromise.

I can't say for sure why. When I got married she just wanted to take one of my names (I have two last names). I'm not famous or anything, so it doesn't carry any clout. Maybe she wanted a fancy sounding hyphenated name too, because she added one of mine to her current one.

Having the same last name is just an easy way to show togetherness and unity. My wife kept her last name because she earned her MD with it but she's fine going by Mrs. (my last name) in a parental setting.

It's tradition in my country but not mandatory. The archaic government system is also easier to navigate through if a married couple have same the last name. Because it's so common for a wife to take her husband's last name, it immediately raises eyebrows when people claim to be married but have different surnames. In our case, my wife took my last name because she just likes it better than hers. It's neutral and easier to pronounce.

My wife took my last name because she had her father’s last name. He abandoned her shortly after birth and never attempted to get in touch with her. He quit jobs to avoid paying support. She did it to remove that last vestige of him from her life. Had she had her mother’s last name we would have hyphenated our names together.