this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 7 points 18 hours ago

Oh daisy, yet another year has come and gone and yet another year you lie to me. Your words of encouragement are only gonna work like 3 to 4 more times max then I'm giving uo

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago

Just preparing for the future

[–] fnrir@lemmy.world 8 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Joke's on you. I'm gay (and still single ;-;).

[–] DakRalter@thelemmy.club 6 points 17 hours ago

That's okay. The GF actually stands for gayfriend.

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 19 hours ago

I'm waitinggggg

[–] Draegur@lemm.ee 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I got a girlfriend in 2023

The experience was mid.

She's cool and we still hang out sometimes but being in a relationship kinda sucked and I'm glad we reloaded the friend save state.

I'm just not cut out for being someone's only partner.

[–] angelmountain@feddit.nl 4 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Exclusivity in a romantic relationship is a social construct. Look into ENM. It might not fit you or it just might.

[–] Draegur@lemm.ee 2 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I do believe I'd love being a small part of a polycule...!

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago

Nothing wrong with being solo poly. Also nothing wrong with choosing to be single for those who prefer it.

Personally I hated monogamy but also I’m happiest married, and so I’m very grateful to have found someone who feels the same as me.

[–] 3ntranced@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago

To the other dudes still like me searching for a meaningful relationship, if you haven't discovered yet there's a huge part that makes it easier. Become friends first, then date. If you force right into intimacy there's no relationship developed. It's not like HighSchool anymore unfortunately, persistence is key but know when to move on.

[–] slingstone@lemmy.world 60 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Umm...I think my wife's going to be upset when she learns I'm getting a girlfriend...

[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

Get a boyfriend instead. Problem solved. 🤷‍♂️

[–] allidoislietomyself@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Let her get a boyfriend and maybe it'll all work out?

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 11 points 1 day ago

Or let her get a girlfriend and you get a boyfriend

[–] hotelbravo722@slrpnk.net 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Arguably it does, just not the way the person who suggests it expects it to.

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 94 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Hope my wife doesn't mind.

[–] Obnomus@lemmy.ml 3 points 21 hours ago
[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 35 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Not to mention GFs '15 - '24.

[–] Windex007@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

Valentine's Day set to bankrupt me this year

[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 48 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Joke's on you, I got married in two of those years.

[–] bizzle@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago

Same lmfao 2016 (mid at best) and 2024 (extra good)

[–] jettrscga@lemmy.world 29 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Damn, sorry to hear you lost your girlfriend

[–] lud@lemm.ee 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Godnroc@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

At least once. If they're monogamous it could be as high as three times.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just once. No reason to be sorry though. The only big loss was the money that went to the wedding.

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The only big loss was the money that went to the wedding.

I learned recently the cost to getting married in my state and county is $60 ($20 for the license and $40 for the officiant to marry you and process the license to probate). That is less money than it cost for 2 tickets to see an evening movie and get concession stand food. I had no idea getting married could cost so little.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

If only I had just spent $60. Unfortunately I spent about $30,000.

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[–] TommySoda@lemmy.world 39 points 1 day ago (6 children)

Bro, I'm trying. I work all the time and online dating sucks butt. I think I've been on every dating app there is at least twice over the past 7 years with zero success. Like, I know I'm an introvert but it shouldn't be that hard. Especially when everyone and their mom tells me how great of a dude I am.

I think my problem is that I'm just not built for online dating. My last girlfriend and I met through fucking Reddit of all places... They should make a dating app for introverts where there are no pictures until you match with someone. Because I'm sure I'm not the only introvert that cannot for the life them take a good picture of themselves.

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 23 points 1 day ago (10 children)

Introvert here. I met my now introvert wife at speed dating.

If you haven't done it before, you are in a room (usually a rented out restaurant so its just for this event) with lots of tables. At each table is a woman. As a man, you are directed to sit at a specific numbered table where there is a woman seated (all the other men do the same to the individual table they are directed to). A bell rings. You have 5 minutes to talk to each other and learn as much as you can about each other. After 5 minutes, the bell rings, and the woman stay seated, and the man moves to the next higher numbered table. You have a card with the woman's name on it and you should REALLY make notes, because you won't remember which things you thought with each person. The women do the same with their cards.

In under 2 hours each person now talked to 14-18 potential mates. At the end of the night you go online and mark which of the women you're interested in hearing more from. If any of the women you mark also mark you on their side, you're given an in-app communications channel and you can choose to share personal contact information from there.

When you're sitting at the table talking with a woman sometimes it seems like that bell rings as soon as you sit down and you wish you had more time. Those are the ones you mark on your card to talk more with. Sometimes, you're 1 minute in and you're dreading waiting though the next 4 min. Those you do not mark.

I'd recommend you give Speed Dating a try.

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[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 29 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I'm too fucked up for an SO. There's a song lyric that goes "How's anyone else gonna love you, if you don't love you too" and like, yeah. Way too full of self hatred to be appealing to anyone.

[–] fnrir@lemmy.world 3 points 20 hours ago

Same, unfortunately. ;-;

[–] ApatheticCactus@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Same. I know my red flags, you don't. If I were a used car I'd strongly recommend against getting it.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

No, see, the real red flags are the ones you aren't aware of yet.

Those are the ones I'm frightened of. Like there's just this itty-bit of something just waiting for the right bump to break and cut my brake lines while I'm on the highway.

I don't know what it is, but I know it's there, so I gotta be self-critical until I find the piece to fix!

At the very least I can tell you my job isn't in sales.

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[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I appreciate the confidence, but girlfriends require time. While it would be cool and could be helpful to have that extra support around, all I can do is provide money and dick.

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[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

~~2025~~ ~~2026~~ ~~2100~~ ~~2525~~ ~~3000~~ ~~10000~~ ??????

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Jokes on you, my sex doll is already on the way, be here before Christmas.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Did you get the kind that can also make dinner? Wait, am I thinking of a microwave?

Bro that's sexist.

And completely ignored that self cleaning functionality is the best feature of RealWomen(TM)

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