this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2024

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Mildly Infuriating

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This app requires access to your contacts (lemmy.ca)

submitted 1 week ago by annHowe@lemmy.zip to c/mildlyinfuriating@lemmy.world

71 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.zip/post/28090390

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ca/post/35018512

Far more than c/mildlyinfuriating

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[–] hiramfromthechi@lemmy.world 22 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

Not just download the app, but sign up for an account (and the newsletter in the process).

Then grant permissions to your phone:

camera (so it can watch you poop and train + analyze the footage with AI)
microphone (so it can hear and analyze if your plops are optimal)
contacts (to send out an invitation to all your contacts, along with a clip of your last poop sesh)
photos and videos (to upload, store, and analyze your life since birth, along with everyone else who's in your pictures)
sensors (to see how you're holding the phone, when, how much, how hard, etc.)
notifications (to sell you the premium plan)
location (for pinpoint accuracy of your 💩 locations)
call logs (to see who you're communicating with before, during, and after you drop your log)
nearby devices (for accuracy and to silently communicate with nearby devices)
calendar (for full history and to schedule your next mondo duke)

[–] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 1 points 5 days ago

Now we're talking proper dystopia!

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

Don't forget all the health and biometric data, last used app, and Facebook access

[–] Old_Yharnam@lemmy.world 14 points 6 days ago (2 children)

What happens when the company goes out of business? You no longer can flush?

[–] cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca 11 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Precisely

[–] Turret3857@infosec.pub 3 points 6 days ago

As long as they can convince their shareholders this will eventually make money and you buy into their eventual $30/flush subscription they won't have to go out of business

[–] Kuma@lemmy.world 13 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I laughed a lot when I saw this and I sent it to my parent who laughed too. This is my parents house right now. They want buttons for their lamps but they were forced to get an app for most of them and had to fight the company to put in buttons. They also got a ventilation system without buttons and they could not get buttons except if they payed for a very expensive hub, so they went for the app. But only one person can be connected at a time and you have to unpair before someone else can pair, so the app act as if it is the hub.. it is very strange

[–] pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 8 points 6 days ago

Set up Home Assistant on a Pi or something for them. It can likely control everything from a central app

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

My parents had a house built a couple of years ago and it's the same with them. It's real hard for me to say "I told you so" like every time I go over there and see them fighting with some app bullshit on one of their appliances. It pisses me off so much because there was nothing wrong with their old house and now I'm going to be stuck inheriting the new one that's worse in every way. Probably right around the time all the cut corners in the construction start coming out as the place falls apart.

[–] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I'd love to inherit a house even if it had no appliances and was falling apart...

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Yeah I know I'm fortunate and this is pretty much the only route to home ownership for me it's just frustrating to think about what could have been and what's waiting in the future.

[–] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 4 points 5 days ago

it's just frustrating to think about what could have been and what's waiting in the future.

Modern existence in a nutshell.

[–] philpo@feddit.org 9 points 6 days ago

Funnily enough, my toilet has it's own app.("Japanese style" shower toilet by a German company)

It's non-cloud, Bluetooth only, all functions work without it,but it tells you when preventative maintenance is due and enables you to configure the user profiles easier.

So there's that.

Wouldn't have bought it otherwise.

[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago

Free trial exhausted. Subscribe now to keep using server infrastructure. After all, all you bought was the toilet, you can't expect the server space for free.

[–] ericatty@infosec.pub 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

NOOO!!! This is the Torment Nexus of toilets... now some company is going to do this...

[–] SirQuackTheDuck@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

Some company surely already done this.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 2 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

In an alternate universe where /c/shitpost is a place where users share images of their latest bowel movement.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 6 days ago

I'm pretty sure there actually was a community like that on Reddit.

[–] moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

yeah I have the toilet from this photograph, it's really frustrating. good post OP, it's definitely relevant to the community

[–] Turret3857@infosec.pub 2 points 6 days ago

I believe it is making light of the fact that this is the direction we are heading in as a society. See the recent ford patent that listens to you while you are driving to serve ads over your stereo, the $800 child's toy that will now be nothing but e-waste, BMW having you "subscribe" to your heated seats, or a more relavent to this conic example, the thousands if not millions of new "smart" devices that now require an app to perform functions that older technology could perform without needing a smartphone.

[–] Draghetta@lemmy.world 85 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Funny how this is supposed to be absurd - upside down duck, cake, “bizarro” and all - but it’s actually pretty accurate. So many products out there that require you to download their shitty spyware in order to do the things they are supposed to do.

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org -1 points 6 days ago (2 children)

If you buy garbage products you get garbage products. That's on you.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

Yep. Until you can't find non-garbage products anymore because 95% of everyone else is dumb enough to fall for it.

I think there's a reasonable case to be made against buyer beware here, we need to ban this shit.

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I was just making this point with a laissez faire capitalism coworker. Bro just cannot understand the invisible hand is very often wrong.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

That's funny to hear. I'd actually say this kind of thing that happens with electronics is unusual, and people do know what's in their own best interest the vast majority of the time. Dunno if that puts me in the picture or not.

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

and people do know what’s in their own best interest the vast majority of the time.

Is that true if the vast majority of people are either uninformed or apathetic?

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Magical boxes aside, people understand and pay attention to things that are of direct personal interest to them. Transit schedules, typical prices of things in their area and so on. Which garbage bins to check if you're really poor, how to avoid taxes if you're really rich.

So, I guess it wouldn't be, but people actually aren't stupid or apathetic (about their own life) in general.

[–] pimento64@sopuli.xyz 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

For example, try buying a television in a retail store that doesn't have "smart" features at all, just inputs, outputs, and a digital tuner.

[–] Turret3857@infosec.pub 0 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I wish. I really do. I want it so badly. My TV upgrades over the past 4 years have all been thrift store finds because I refuse to be forced to buy a device that WILL be obsolete one day.

[–] pimento64@sopuli.xyz 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You can buy display panels, and Sceptre TVs still have non-smart options.

[–] Turret3857@infosec.pub 1 points 5 days ago

Wow this is amazing! Thanks for sharing

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

From what I've heard, the move is to substitute in a monitor.

[–] Turret3857@infosec.pub 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

but 30"+ monitors are extremely expensive :(

[–] vaionko@sopuli.xyz 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

That's what you get for not paying by watchind ads

[–] Turret3857@infosec.pub 1 points 5 days ago

I know your comment is probably /s but even the expensive $1k+ TVs have "smart" features and ads now.

[–] Turret3857@infosec.pub 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Find me a new car in 2024 that doesnt store every GPS coordinate you've driven at for eternity. Genuinely, I'd like to see the non-garbage option because my '04 is getting old.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

If I buy a new car, I'm going to have to figure out how to lobotomise it. At the very least, you should be able to mess up or cage any transmitters.

I have no idea if that's possible without taking the whole thing apart, though.

[–] Turret3857@infosec.pub 2 points 5 days ago

As far as I am aware, most of them aren't directly transmitting data back to the manufacturer, but the data is stored on the car so if you ever have it worked on the dealership can just pull that shit without consent. I could be wrong though, maybe there are cars now that are doing that. I do know that a a lot of cars are taking the iPhone route of having "encrypted" parts, where if one is missing or replaced, the car just won't work.

[–] Agility0971@lemmy.world 52 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Just 9.99 per month

[–] pikmeir@lemmy.world 64 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Until the company shuts down its servers and your toilet stops working.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

And it goes down mid-use, and the toilet has tamper-proofing that stops you from emptying it any other way "for security".

[–] IndianaJones@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

And then you "unfortunately" have to buy the newer version for just a couple of bucks more

[–] pikmeir@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

Unrecognized toilet paper roll detected. Please make sure to only use authentic rolls.

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