this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2024
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Microblog Memes

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[–] HowManyNimons@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago

"How many of your kids hate you?"

[–] whotookkarl@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

"One day a man invited him into a richly furnished house, saying 'be careful not to spit on the floor.' Diogenes, who needed to spit, spat in his face, exclaiming that it was the only dirty place he could find where spitting was permitted."

[–] ProgrammingSocks@pawb.social 15 points 1 day ago

I would literally pretend I had absolutely no clue who he was or any familiarity with any of his "achievements" or why they're "important". It would be pretty funny to see him try to respond to that.

[–] braydan@lemmy.world 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] conartistpanda@lemmy.world 1 points 21 hours ago
[–] LuckyPierre@lemm.ee 2 points 21 hours ago

"Please stop headbutting my fist"

[–] 96VXb9ktTjFnRi@feddit.nl 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

You've gone from being perceived as an inspiring intelligent neurodiverse outsider, to an evil good for nothing oligarch. Can you imagine what the impact would be if you would announce tomorrow, that you would give all or most of your shares to the employees that work for your companies, and you would state to the world that having (hecto)billionaires is dangerous and immoral, and that being one you experienced first hand that it is psychologically harmful, that you lost sense of who you were, but now want to return to your innocence.

[–] blarth@thelemmy.club 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I’d ask him how his values were so easily changed by a comedian and his roving troupe of rude boys.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 2 points 22 hours ago

Musk: They weren't, I just stopped lying about them.

[–] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 53 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I would ask him who he is. Then when he gets upset that I don't recognize him and he gives me his name I say "hmmm, never heard of you."

Watch is ego implode.

[–] childOfMagenta@lemm.ee 1 points 21 hours ago

"Musk? Like the supermarket grade perfume? Did you know musk comes from glandular secretions? The word comes from 'testicle' because the gland looks like a scrotum." Give a couple of sniffs... "Oh wow, that's amazing!"

[–] gimsy@feddit.it 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"You look like a guy I saw in an episode of Rick and Morty" Smile "Elon Tusk?" "No Mr Poopy Butthole"

[–] GenosseFlosse@feddit.org 6 points 1 day ago

No this can't be right, Mr poopy butthole is a good and likable character.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

hey look its welfare guy.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Show him this picture and just ask "Why?".

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 143 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

With his fragile ego, I’d spend the entire time asking if he could smell that awful smell. I’d ask him to check the bottoms of his shoes, drawing more and more attention and increasing his discomfort, all the while pretending that I’ve never heard of Elon Musk.

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 33 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Putting this tactic in my back pocket for uncomfortable social interactions.

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[–] dQw4w9WgXcQ@lemm.ee 4 points 1 day ago

"That's okay, I forget to brush my teeth some mornings as well."

[–] neon_nova@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Can I have a dollar?"

If he says yes, and give me a dollar, I'd wait for him to put his wallet away and then ask,

"Can I have another dollar?"

And then do this on repeat until he stops.

[–] GenosseFlosse@feddit.org 6 points 1 day ago

"No sorry, I only carry hundred dollar notes with me."

[–] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

"Bet you can't end world hunger"

"Excuse me?"

"So, Bezos was right?"

"Now listen here you little shit.."

[–] FundMECFSResearch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 45 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I’d slap him. I don’t fucking care, I’m dying from societal neglect and welfare failings and like literally 0.00001% of his wealth could fix all my problems, you have to be inherently selfish to hoard all that wealth (not to mention be inherently evil to get it in the first place).

(this is a joke, I wouldn’t put it past Musk for suing for verbal assault or something)

[–] Turret3857@infosec.pub 20 points 1 day ago

fuck being sued this country needs a story like that in the news

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[–] imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee 78 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I'd like to think that I'd find a quick easy way to Luigi him but I know I'd just stare and look around for his security and be questioning my life choices that I was in the same room.

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 37 points 2 days ago (4 children)

pretend not to know who he is

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[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 day ago

I'd just leave myself. Words mean nothing to fascists; I'd be wasting my breath and sitting at his table.

[–] Aeri@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The only question I'd have for someone like him is.

"Do you think even the worst person can change...? That everybody can be a good person, if they just try?" And then I'd try my hand at fighting him after I got through the Sans Undertale speech.

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[–] thedeadwalking4242@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Tell him about trains without saying trains and hope for the best

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[–] blady_blah@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Trump surrounds himself with Yes Men who constantly just kiss his ass.... Is that why you two get along so well?"

Or on a more realistic note I'd ask him about climate change and try to understand what twisted logic he's using to justify his actions.

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[–] EABOD25@lemm.ee 60 points 2 days ago (47 children)

Why the fuck are you spending so much money getting to a dead planet when you could be spending money to save a living one?

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[–] formergijoe@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Excuse me, but you look familiar. Where do I know you from? Elon Musk? Do you sell perfume? X.com? Is that a porn site?

[–] Klnsfw@lemmynsfw.com 14 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

"Oh, I know you ! you're that Ironman guy who can't build himself a flying armor ?"

[–] madcaesar@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

More like, you're the guy dancing on stage with that orange pedo

[–] Bronzebeard@lemm.ee 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Elon is friends with Gillaines Maxwell, himself

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[–] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 39 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (5 children)

"What happened to your concern about climate change?"

Followed by

"You've completely debased yourself by supporting the one guy who will destroy the planet. And for what? A slight to your ego because Biden gave you the cold shoulder once? You are a huge thin-skinned bitch and will be remembered as one"

[–] funkforager@sh.itjust.works 25 points 2 days ago

Shortest answer is always money. The richest man got much richer and plans to get richer yet after this.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/economy/elon-musk-put-277-million-into-the-election-he-s-200-billion-richer-this-year/ar-AA1vTrEZ

Elon Musk’s net worth has climbed by more than $200 billion in 2024, a massive increase in the same year that the world’s richest person spent at least $277 million backing Donald Trump and other Republican candidates. 

The bulk of the increase, more than $170 billion, has come since Election Day.

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[–] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 23 points 2 days ago

Do you follow this Elon guy on Twitter? He says the stupidest shit.

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 43 points 2 days ago

"how bad is the kompromat on you? Were they teenagers or like much younger?"

[–] BetaBlake@lemmy.world 21 points 2 days ago

"It's obvious you're just mad that your daughter is trans and that Grimes left you, everyone can tell"

[–] shininghero@pawb.social 22 points 2 days ago (1 children)

"Hey, does this rag smell like ~~chloroform~~ neurotoxin to you?"

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