this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 day ago
[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 198 points 4 days ago (5 children)

How many dicks do I have to suck to prove I'm not gay!?

[–] Shortstack@reddthat.com 59 points 4 days ago

In my case, at least one

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 21 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Like one girl cock I think

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[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)
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[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 days ago

If you someone tells you that broccoli is gross, but have never tried broccoli, can you trust their opinion?

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[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 133 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Fake: anon has a friend

Gay: literally gay

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Fake because Brad didn't get gay with Tim and anon

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[–] Skanky@lemmy.world 44 points 4 days ago (2 children)

In before someone posts the green text story of a friendship of two straight dudes just being straight dudes having a good time blowing each other

[–] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 days ago

That doesn't narrow it down as much as you'd think

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago
[–] jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org 66 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

Is it weird that the most unrelatable thing here for me is that SongeBob existed when anon was in high school?

Edit: a word

[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 79 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I'm over 30, SpongeBob existed when I was in middle school.

[–] jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org 23 points 4 days ago (7 children)

Yeah, I'm over 40. SpongeBob didn't exist when I was in high school.

[–] meep_launcher@lemm.ee 23 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Hmmm with this we can deduce that SpongeBob was created sometime after 40 year olds went to highschool but before 30 year olds went to highschool 🤔

[–] expr@programming.dev 9 points 4 days ago

SpongeBob first aired in 1999, so if you were born '81 or later, it was probably on when you were in high school. But yeah if you're in your mid-late 40s you would have just missed it.

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[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago

This is where I remind you that 4chan has existed for over 21 years. Meaning that a kid born the day it started operation is now old enough to legally drink in the United States.

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[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 103 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] frayedpickles@lemmy.cafe 22 points 4 days ago

One of the few anon stories that seems plausible

[–] selokichtli@lemmy.ml 22 points 4 days ago

This is not gay. A cock was touched, even stroked, but there is no mention of the soap. Did it fell? Did someone pick it up?

[–] gil2455526@lemmy.eco.br 26 points 4 days ago

Traumatize them back. Best revenge type.

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 32 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Tim is getting married at ~22?

[–] weker01@sh.itjust.works 35 points 4 days ago (17 children)

Is that strange where you are from?

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 29 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Indeed. Here most people are still either getting their education or just starting with work.

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[–] festnt@sh.itjust.works 26 points 4 days ago (17 children)
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[–] bitflag@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago

Americans marry early. And often.

[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 35 points 4 days ago

Ahh, they must've whispered "no homo" before getting in the showers together!

[–] unknown1234_5@kbin.earth 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

"I have an idea for a great prank."

[–] Jumi@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago (1 children)

If touching dick is gay almost every man is a homosexual

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 days ago (3 children)

What about touching other peoples' dicks?

[–] Jumi@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Dick is dick I'd say

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

My wife is definitely gay then

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[–] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 43 points 4 days ago (7 children)

Being queer in HS was so fucking fun.

[–] odium@programming.dev 20 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

If you don't mind me asking, when were you in high school?

I was in high school in the late 2010s, in a red county in a red state, and there were a few openly queer ppl in my grade who were never bullied throughout high school.

I think it was because allies outnumbered the homophobes/transphobes and bullies only punch down, not up.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago (4 children)

I was in high school in the late 00s early 10s and I remember guys in the locker room talking about how they'd murder a trans woman if one "tricked them". Around that point the only reason I didn't realize I was a trans woman was that I really didn't want to realize it.

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[–] VeganCheesecake@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I was in my countries equivalent in the late '00s and early '10s, and it ... really wasn't. So I'd say that's rather time and place dependent.

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