this post was submitted on 11 Jan 2025
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[–] westyvw@lemm.ee 45 points 3 days ago (14 children)

I hate so say it, but you should grab Michigan and Wisconsin. Much like a girl I used to know: We can fix her, and she has huge lakes that I find appealing. Or something like that.

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[–] jodanlime@midwest.social 109 points 4 days ago (7 children)

You move that gods damned line to include Michigan. Right fucking now.

[–] BigBenis@lemmy.world 62 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Nope. Move to a real blue state if you wanna come. MI has betrayed us too many times. We don't need that in New Canada.

[–] MrWafflesNBacon@lemmy.world 36 points 4 days ago

As a Michigander myself I fucking demand this also

[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 28 points 4 days ago (6 children)

You guys decided to vote for the fascist.

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[–] sxan@midwest.social 116 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Also: why not give Texas back to Mexico? It'd solve their obsession with "the border problem."

[–] jmcs@discuss.tchncs.de 94 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Because Mexico already has enough problems without having to deal with Texans?

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[–] NatakuNox@lemmy.world 102 points 4 days ago (4 children)
[–] ramble81@lemm.ee 21 points 4 days ago (4 children)

You can have islands that belong to countries, why not land locked enclaves! (Yes I under logistics and such)

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[–] isyasad@lemmy.world 52 points 3 days ago (14 children)

Accepting pleas from other comments here, Canada could get away with about this. And if they have the whole Pacific border, I'll also throw in Hawaii for free.

[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 35 points 3 days ago (1 children)

We should give Texas to Mexico just to spite them

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[–] Qwazpoi@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

Having Arizona would be a big L for Canada

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[–] FanciestPants@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Hm. Went with cutting Washington and Oregon in half rather than full take. Pretty bold, but makes some sense.

[–] Baguette@lemm.ee 11 points 3 days ago

Theres citylife washington and middle of nowhere washington. Occasionally middle of nowhere washington likes to throw fits in the city to support trump because they have nothing better to do

Though i guess that goes with cali as well. Lots of the non cities in the west coast just really love trump despite reaping all the state benefits that are very non-republican.

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[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 68 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

On behalf of California, we accept this proposal, and we accept Canada as our new federal government.

I also propose we officially refer to the remainder of the US as "Dumbfuckistan".

[–] buzz86us@lemmy.world 34 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Oh man I'd love to see the civil unrest in the red States when they don't have us new Yorkers to give them their welfare payments.

[–] Baguette@lemm.ee 18 points 3 days ago

Same from the west coast. If only cali oregon and washington could just be a west coast alliance separate from the rest of the problem states.

[–] nooneescapesthelaw@mander.xyz 25 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Why would I want to join Canada???? I don't do well in the cold smh my head

[–] MapleEngineer@lemmy.world 51 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (9 children)

-Life expectancy will go up from a world ranking of 48th (USA) to 20th (Canada).

-Education will get better from 31st (USA) to 19th (Canada).

-Math scores will improve from 34th (USA) to 9th (Canada).

-Robberies will go down from 98 per 100,000 population to 62.

-Traffic accident deaths will drop from 12.7 per 100,000 to 5.3.

-You will spend half as much on health care yet get better outcomes.

-Poverty in Canada is 1/3 the rate in the USA.

-Although Canada has fewer millionaires, we more fairly distribute wealth (better income equality).

-The minimum wage in Canada is double that in USA.

and most important you will be happier (Canada ranked 15th, USA 23rd in happiness).

(We couldn't find a politeness index, but thank you for reading)

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

Imagine how much worse all of those statistics will get once they absorb large chunks of the US!

[–] MapleEngineer@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

I can assure you that the vast majority of Canadians are well aware of that fact and totally disinterested in become part of the US or taking on any part thereof.

Americans joining Canada would have to give up their guns and other weapons, compete that training and licensing processes, and if successful would have the revocable and modifiable privilege of owning a very small selection of approved guns. They would have to accept that religious freedom in Canada, which is much higher than in the US, means that you are free to practice your religion in any way you choose as long as it doesn't effect anyone else's rights and you are free to have no religion at all. They would have to accept that it is settled law in Canada that a woman's healthcare decisions are between her and her healthcare provider and none of anyone else's business. They would have to accept that everyone has the right to marry, has had the right for decades, and that the only thing destroy traditional marriage is traditionally married people. They would have to accept that free speech in Canada does not include racism or hate speech. Most Americans would not fit in in Canada and we are not interested in becoming Americans and giving up the things that make us the best country in the world.

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[–] pressanykeynow@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Wouldn't you get most of the millionaires and billionaires by including California and New York and the stats will start going to the US level or worse?

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[–] glimse@lemmy.world 59 points 4 days ago (15 children)

ITT: People pretending that Oregon, Michigan, and probably Washington don't have a huge population of total fuckos.

Carve a line down the coasts. You don't want the whole state. And while you're at it, take the lakes and Chicago

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[–] Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Congratulations you just gave the fundamentalist nutters all the icbm silos.

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[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Is the US losing just about all of the top universities in this "trade"?

[–] riodoro1@lemmy.world 24 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Where they’re going they don’t need no universities.

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[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Losing CA alone would make the US possibly not even a world power. NY and CA gone, the US Would be a thing no one really has a reason to think of talk about. Suddenly all the movies would be about aliens landing on Canada or blowing up Canadian national landmarks.

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[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 40 points 4 days ago (10 children)

Seriously, why isn't the Canadian government offering US states to join them? It would be the perfect response to Trumps bullshit.

You want Canada to submit to the US? Hey Oregon, California, and the others, wanna join us instead?

If California leaves the US it would fucking bankrupt the US.

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 16 points 4 days ago

Washington State: "Come on! We're right there. Are we a joke to you and just here for you to shop?"

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[–] HoMaster@lemm.ee 8 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Include Colorado and Hawaii.

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[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 14 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Australia can come too. THE END!

Edit for the young ones: this is older than YouTube. It was a flash animation which was like a 2d game engine that ran in-game cutscenes in your web browser because that worked on slower internet speeds than video.

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 21 points 4 days ago (7 children)

WI and MI want in on that, for sure

Well, MI at least

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[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 20 points 3 days ago

Solving the problem is dissolving all borders so the working class isn't divided into easily managed nation states.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 26 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (10 children)

If you go by recent province/state wide election results:

Alberta, Saskatchewan and probably Manitoba go to Jesusland.

... And Colorado and New Mexico, and Illinois become exclaves like Kaliningrad.

CO+NM is exceptionally fucked because its landlocked, and almost in a Lesotho situation (being wholly surrounded by a single other country) were it not for Mexico...

Though I guess Illinois would not be much better off as Jesusland would likely claim it owns all of Lake Michigan beyond 50 miles of Illinois' shore.

And Virginia actually went for Harris, so that's also part the United States of Canada.

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[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

Trump: Fine, they can have California for all I care.

Advisors: Sir, if California were its own country it would be the world's 6th largest economy.

Trump: How about if we just send all the Mexicans there with some beautiful rakes?

[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 24 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 19 points 3 days ago

They are already here. Who the fuck you think does the farming?

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[–] DankOfAmerica@reddthat.com 25 points 4 days ago (5 children)

lol @ New Hampshire

Also, that would be about 37% of the US economy. California making the highest percentage at 14% of the US economy while New York would be in 2nd place at 8%. The least impactful would be Vermont with 0.2% (for got to include Rhode Island). However, I think this would wreck the world economy with the financial hub of the US (New York City) who manages the investments of world's reserve currency (dollar) would switch from US Dollar to Canadian Dollar. The US would also lose access to the Pacific and a considerable amount of military force stationed in the West Coast states.

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can you take Philly too?

[–] stoly@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago (2 children)

You forgot Colorado. But yes.

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Where can I vote for this proposal?

[–] lambalicious@lemmy.sdf.org 23 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (4 children)

Excuse me but that incorporation of California, Oregon, Washington and British Columbia gets in the way of the glorious Long Chile Project. We shall be having words.

(By all means do take MN, CT and WDC tho.)

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[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago

Poor Colorado

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